


August Prompts Collection

by Blizzard_Fire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amnesia, Bruce Banner-centric, Chatlogs, Drabble Collection, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meet-Cute, Only One Bed, Sex Pollen, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 20,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire
Summary: Bruce Banner/everyone fics forWriter's Month 2020! Fluffy, tropey goodness with lots of different pairings.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Drax the Destroyer, Bruce Banner & Nebula, Bruce Banner & Nick Fury, Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner & Wong, Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Bruce Banner/Brunnhilde | Valkyrie, Bruce Banner/Clint Barton, Bruce Banner/Darcy Lewis, Bruce Banner/Heimdall, Bruce Banner/Hela (Marvel), Bruce Banner/James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Bruce Banner/Loki, Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner/Scott Lang, Bruce Banner/Stephen Strange, Bruce Banner/Thor, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Chewie | Goose & Bruce Banner
Comments: 78
Kudos: 174
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	1. Contents Page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Table of contents and chapter summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the prompt month is complete, I thought I should add a table of contents to make it easier to find things! Mature chapters are marked with * and the rest is self-explanatory. I also added my badge of completion - super proud to have completed all 31 days :)

**[2\. Green Thumb (Tattoo Artist/Flower Shop AU)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60877573&t=YjBjN2M3NDgzZTc2MDhlNDM1OTBkNjE3ZTdjZDNkYTEzY2UzNDMyYixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce is a florist. Valkyrie is the tattoo artist next door who knows how to make him blush.  
 _TW: Brief mention of tattoo needles  
_ _Bruce/Valkyrie, florist/tattoo artist au, fluff_

 **[3\. Asking Nicely (Quarantine)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F62024944&t=MGZkNDllNDU1NjhkNTNmNjQwNTM3ZDcyODJjOGFjMWQzYmJkZDYwYSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
After Doctor Banner is rescued from a military facility, Nick Fury requests his help finding the Tesseract.  
 _Bruce & Nick, pre-Avengers 2012, missing scene, canon divergence_

 **[4\. Purrfect (Magic)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60877573&t=YjBjN2M3NDgzZTc2MDhlNDM1OTBkNjE3ZTdjZDNkYTEzY2UzNDMyYixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Stephen checks up on Bruce after he was previously turned into a cat. It seems some of the effects are still lingering…  
 _Bruce/Stephen, fluff, humour_

 **[5\. #Bretty (Long Distance Relationship)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61045582&t=NWFhY2FjNjExMTVjNDQzMDUwNTM3ZjkxNDNkMThiZjU3YWY2ZDE3MCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Whilst Betty is away for two months, the media keeps shipping Bruce with his fellow Avengers. It’s like everyone’s forgotten he still has a girlfriend…  
 _Bruce/Betty, chatfic, humour_

 **[6\. Wordbound (Soulmates)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61302271&t=YmY5NWM4M2YxNTdmOTdmOTMwZjgxN2I0NTA0ZjNkOGJlMjMyMjY3ZCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Your soulmate’s first words are written on the palm of your hand. Bruce’s is “Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilise the quantum tunnelling effect.”  
 _Bruce/Tony, soulmates au, set during Avengers 2012_

 **[7\. Tide (Ocean)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61141381&t=ZmY2OWI5Nzc3NDRmN2NlMDQxZDJkNjEyMTZlNzgyYjE5ZmVmZTkxOSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
After the events of Ultron, Bruce washes up on a beach. Steve shows up to take him home, but he might need some persuading first.  
 _Bruce & Steve, angst, post-Age of Ultron_

 **[8\. Nosebleed (Hurt/Comfort)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F62548006&t=NTM2YWU5ZjgzZjZlMGQ1NjVlODc5ZGI1YThlZWE5MDdkZmVjMWEzYixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce defends Natasha from an attacker. Natasha cleans him up.  
 _TW: Blood and mentions of catcalling/being followed_  
 _Bruce/Natasha, hurt/comfort, established relationship_

 **[9\. Unburgled (Eight)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F62535694&t=YzMwNDQ0YWM2MjQ0NTU3YjM4YmRkOTNmNzZjZjFkNTNkNmM4M2M0MSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Scott breaks into Bruce’s apartment, only to find that there’s nothing here worth stealing. Except for Bruce’s heart perhaps.  
 _Bruce/Scott, pre-slash, meet cute, pre-Avengers, pre-Ant Man_

 **[10\. Sniffle (Illness)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61881745&t=ZTM1NGNjOGRiNzBhNTk3ZGRlNjU5Mzk4ZDNlZjliOWFmOWExYTdmNCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce has a cold. Steve takes care of him.  
 _Bruce & Steve, sickfic, hurt/comfort, pre-slash if you squint_

 **[11\. *Pollen (Bunnies)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61087495&t=ZWQzMGY5M2ZiNmUxYjE3Y2UzOTBhMWFhOGM5NTdlZWVjZTJkMjg2NCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Thor and Bruce are infected with sex pollen.  
 _TW: Sex pollen, “PG” smut_ _(mature chapter)_  
 _Bruce/Thor, humour, sex pollen_

 **[12\. In Your Arms (Light)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61968661&t=NjMxNGMzOGUyNDg1MjllYmY5ZWI5NTA3Njc4ZTY4NWE5ZDI5MTc0OCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce has always been a light sleeper. Thor is quite the opposite.  
 _TW: Mentions of Bruce’s childhood  
Bruce/Thor, fluff, character study_

 **[13\. Roller Coaster (Meet Cute)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61212019&t=OGE1MGM0ZmQ4NDExNzNlNTY1NzM4ZGEyM2RlN2U3NWYwNjhlNmNhYyxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce is scared of roller coasters. Clint is the very unlucky stranger who ends up sitting next to him.  
 _TW: Graphic vomit  
Bruce/Clint, meet cute, no powers au_

 **[14\. Tranquility (Music)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F62066614&t=NWFjMzhlMmU3YzdjZWNmODk4ZGQyMGNlMmNlYTAwNmFjNmVkZGIzNCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce stays at the Sanctum Sanctorum after the Quinjet returns safely from Asgard. Wong is a good meditation buddy.  
 _Bruce & Wong, post-Thor: Ragnarok (no Thanos), emotional hurt/comfort_

 **[15\. Green Streak (Metamorphosis)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F62900407&t=ZjRmM2IxZjg0NDFmZGI2OTQ4OGVmOWRiYjI5ZWFlMjU1NjEzMzg3MixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
When Bruce has a hair emergency, he turns to Clint for help.  
 _Bruce/Clint, fluff_

 **[16\. Brewtiful (Coffee Shop AU)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60832639%23workskin&t=YTMzNzdkOTUxMzcwZWMzOWRlY2I5ODM2N2Y0OGJkZDgzMDJjMjBjMyxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
At the Zappy Beans coffee shop, Darcy has a new favourite customer. She’s always had a thing for nerdy guys.  
 _Bruce/Darcy, coffee shop au, fluff_

 **[17\. Self-Control (History)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63004678&t=NWNkMDY3Yjg5ZGRlODQ1NWE0NWU2ODdkOWJlY2YxMmM1NTkwNmEzYyxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
After the Battle of New York, it emerges that Bruce and Loki may have… history.  
 _Bruce/Loki, post-Avengers 2012, humour_

 **[18\. Omelet (Cooking)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61368844&t=M2E2YTczMGYyMzAyODRlYzQwMzVjNjZlZGEwZThlNTIzZmE2Mjg0YSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce has some questionable food cravings post-Hulkout. Unfortunately, Clint can’t cook to save his life.  
 _Bruce/Clint, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff_

 **[19\. Seen (Myths)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63109993&t=NzlhMjZiMGVkYzExNzU3NGQ5OTgyNDFhMWY5YWQwMGI2YmVmYmVmNCxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
When the Avengers visit Asgard, Bruce befriends the wise and gentle guardian of the Bifrost, Heimdall.  
 _Bruce/Heimdall, fluff_

 **[20\. Extra Puny (Deageing)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63148306&t=MjEyZGJmNmViNzc0NDgyZDQ2OTNkNmQ4MmNhYzFjMzg4MzBhMmQwMixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Hulk gets hit with an energy weapon. He seems unaffected, but he’s strangely reluctant to change back in front of Natasha…  
 _Bruce/Natasha, deageing_

 **[21\. Forgot (Loss)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63207520&t=YzBkYmYxYTg5NzU5ZmU2ODMyODVhNmQ5MDc0MDI0ZmUyNTI1YTk0NSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Bruce often gets post-Hulk amnesia. But he’s never forgotten his name before…  
 _Bruce/Natasha, fluff_

 **[22\. Green is the New Black (Family)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60857296&t=ODQxMTgzMjhhMzhlZDQ2MTcxOWIxNzdmYTRjMDBiNGJmNjc3MzgzZSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Dylan Rhodes arrives to bail his twin brother Bruce out of jail.  
 _Bruce Banner & Dylan Rhodes, Now You See Me crossover_

 **[23\. Pawsome (Pet Shop AU)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63099499&t=YmQ2YmFkZWZjNDY1NDc5NWU1MTkwNjA3NDkwNjNkNmFiMmYyM2M3ZixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
After two months of working at Paws ‘n’ Claws, Bruce finally meets the store’s legendary most difficult customer: Hela.  
 _Bruce/Hela, pet shop au_

 **[24\. Trash Panda (Poison)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F61841260&t=MmZlN2M4NTNlZGY1MTk2N2NhZTQ1ZTk4MzFjODZlYTRjMDllNWU3NixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
When Rocket starts acting strangely, Drax brings him to the Avengers’ best doctor. Bruce is definitely not awake enough to deal with this shit.  
 _TW: Tranquiliser syringe_  
 _Bruce & Drax (& Rocket), humour, shenanigans_

 **[25\. True Love’s Kiss(es) (True Love’s Kiss)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60833086&t=NWM2Y2I1ZDU2MDNlNmJhMDIxYzJmZGFiYjU1YTY2YjI1ODZjYjA3YSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Tony is cursed and only true love’s kiss can save him. One problem: he has _two_ boyfriends.  
 _Bruce/Steve/Tony, OT3, fluff_

 **[26\. Weakness (Drop)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60848005&t=Y2IxNDNmMzc4ZjdiOTNlNDg1YTViODA1YzcwMDk2YjE0M2Q2MjA5ZSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Nebula carries a semi-conscious Bruce back to base. Bruce tries to convince her that weakness isn’t always a bad thing.  
 _TW: Throwing up, scars (from Bruce’s dad experimenting on him as a child as per the 2003 Hulk’s canon)_  
 _Bruce & Nebula, character study, bonding moment_

 **[27\. Snug (Summer Vacation)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63449746&t=OGMyNTE4OGU4NjZlNzBhYmZhY2YzNzM4MGY5ZDQzYjk3OWI2MTc3ZixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
On a camping trip, Rhodey and Bruce share a tent. But there’s only one sleeping bag…  
 _Bruce/Rhodey, fluff, only one ~~bed~~ sleeping bag!_

 **[28\. Sleepwalker (Dream)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F60942154&t=ODI3ODc5MTRkY2UwNGQ3ZjQ4NGNmMDQ3MDc3YzljODIwYjhiM2U3NSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Tony is summoned to the lab to deal with a sleepwalking Bruce.  
 _Bruce/Tony, pre-slash, fluff_

 **[29\. Scene (Fantasy)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63149530&t=MTI0MjMxNjMyOTFlYjViZjY1Zjg1NTFkZmM3NDZjZDQ1Y2M3YzJmZSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Clint has a weakness for married men. But when he goes home with the cute doctor from the bar, he learns that fantasy and reality are two very different things.  
 _TW: Alcohol, “cheating”_  
 _Bruce/Clint, emotional hurt/comfort, happy ending!_

 **[30\. *Homework (High School AU)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63511324&t=NDI3MTM5MTllZWM4NDFjMDMyMzViZDIyZmU2ZTNjMTU0NGUwYTY0YSxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Tony is sick of Bruce marking papers every evening. Luckily, he has another extracurricular activity in mind…  
 _Bruce/Tony, teacher au, blow jobs_ (mature chapter)

 **[31\. Morsel (Joy)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63691399&t=ZjQ3OWM0MWU4NWRkODkzNmIyOWVlOWY0YjY0NGM3MTFlMDFiMWNkZixycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
Goose befriends a lonely man and they travel the world together. But what happens when their hunters catch up with them?  
 _Bruce & Goose, emotional hurt/comfort, character study_

 **[32\. Snowstorm (Only One Bed!)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25109167%2Fchapters%2F63656455&t=OTc5YWM0ODhjYjZjNzM3MjMyMmFiZjliNjMyNzE4MDgyZmY3YTk0MyxycWk4a1Rabg%3D%3D&b=t%3AwqNZ8adm4LknLzTVdoGTGw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperblizzardfire.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F628187756339789824%2Fwriters-month-2020-masterlist&m=1&ts=1603119519)**  
After a battle, the Avengers are stranded in a snowstorm. The good news: there’s a hotel nearby. The bad news: there’s only one bed. But it’s a very big bed, so maybe they can all squeeze in…  
 _OT6, only one bed, hurt/comfort, fluff_


	2. Green Thumb (Bruce/Valkyrie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Tattoo Artist/Flower Shop AU
> 
> Bruce is a florist. Valkyrie is the tattoo artist next door who knows how to make him blush.
> 
> TW: Brief mention of tattoo needles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy ~~Bruce~~ Writer's Month! The idea is to write something every day of August based on their list of prompts. Mine are all Bruce-centric but I've tried to vary the pairings and include some more unusual combinations where possible. Most will be teen rated, but any mature chapters will be marked with *. TWs are included in the chapter summaries.
> 
> At the end of the month I'll add a contents page with summaries and tags for each chapter so it's easier to find what you're looking for :)

Bruce didn’t know whose idea it was to open the tattoo shop next to the florist’s, but later he’d wish he could send them a fruit basket.

‘Hey, do you work here?’

Bruce turned. A woman smiled back at him. Her long hair was swept into an elegant ponytail, and her eyes were framed with white tattoos that stood out on her dark skin. As he stared, she smiled wider.

‘Uh… yes, yes I work here.’ He showed her the roses he was holding then put them in a display vase. ‘Can I help?’

‘I’m from Hela Ink next door, we just opened but the kitchen’s a mess. Could we maybe use your microwave until we get sorted out?’

‘Well, it’s not really up to – ’

‘Of course you can!’ Natasha called from across the shop. ‘You know what? Let’s make a deal.’ She walked over. ‘Our bathroom’s been flooded all week and it takes fifteen minutes to walk to the public one. Would you mind if…?’

‘Oh, not at all!’ She hooked her fingers into the pockets of her jeans and Bruce couldn’t help noticing her biceps. ‘Just come in any time. I’m Valkyrie, by the way.’

‘Nat.’

‘I’m Bruce,’ he said softly.

‘Cool. Don’t be a stranger! Nice to meet you.’ With a final wink at Bruce, she swept out of the shop.

Natasha nudged him. ‘Don’t drool on the daffodils.’

Bruce rolled his eyes. ‘You’re funny.’

Over the next week, the Hela Ink staff wandered into Green Thumb with their microwave meals and packs of instant noodles. Bruce met Loki, Thor and even Hela herself, but it was Valkyrie who stayed to chat. One day he asked about the tattoo on her arm and she explained she was really into Norse mythology. Naturally, he went home and swotted up on the subject.

Hela Ink had a funky eighties techno vibe, and Bruce definitely wasn’t cool enough to set foot in here, but he was always greeted warmly. Especially by Valkyrie. It turned out she had a wicked sense of humour and once she realised how easy it was to make Bruce blush, she flirted almost constantly.

‘Are you giving her your phone number?’ Natasha squeaked.

Bruce jumped so hard he knocked over the watering can at his elbow. ‘Uh yeah, maybe.’ He finished scrawling his digits on a piece of receipt paper. ‘Is that too forward?’

‘Bruce. It’s been over a week and she’s starting to make the _customers_ blush. Please just ask her out. Loki and I have bets placed on you, don’t let me down. Now go, go!’ She practically shoved him out of the shop.

Hela looked up as he walked in. ‘Back again, are we?’ She smirked. ‘You must drink a _lot_ of water.’

Bruce shook his head and smiled. ‘Is Valkyrie around?’

‘She’s over there.’ She gestured to an open doorway to the left.

Really, Bruce should have remembered that this was a tattoo shop. But he hadn’t expected to see Valkyrie leaning over a client wielding a tattoo needle. And it wasn’t like he had a needle phobia but he’d never been great with injections and stuff, and just the thought of it going into that man’s arm…

He hadn’t realised he’d fainted until he woke up on the floor with half the staff standing around him.

‘Are you okay?’ Valkyrie was smiling down at him incredulously. ‘You just went down like a ton of bricks.’

‘M’fine. I just…’ He grimaced. ‘I really don’t like needles.’

‘Well, this _is_ a tattoo shop.’ She offered a hand then hauled him up like he weighed nothing. ‘You could barely even see the needle. Is it that bad?’ Bruce wobbled and she steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. ‘Oh, you dropped this…’ She stooped to pick up the piece of crumpled paper that had been in his hand.

Bruce sighed. ‘No, that’s – that’s yours. If you want it, I mean.’

Valkyrie unfolded it, read the number, then broke out in a huge grin. ‘Does this mean I can fluster you via text now?’

He laughed. ‘Or over coffee, maybe?’

‘Yeah, I’d like that.’ She steered him over to a chair. ‘But first, I’m getting you a glass of water.’

Behind them, Loki muttered, ‘Damn,’ and headed to Green Thumb to pay Natasha.


	3. Asking Nicely (Bruce & Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Quarantine
> 
> After Doctor Banner is rescued from a military facility, Nick Fury requests his help finding the Tesseract.

‘Sir, he’s awake,’ said Maria.

‘Already?’ Nick stood up from his desk. ‘Tough sonofabitch.’ They’d been back at SHIELD containment for only half an hour. He’d only just cleaned the blood off his knuckles.

Maria’s jaw sported three stitches and she spoke a little stiffly. ‘He’s already burnt off the sedatives. Medical is reluctant to go in and give him more.’

That didn’t bode well if their new friend didn’t comply. Nick stepped out of his office and marched down the corridor, limping only slightly. ‘So he’s awake?’

‘And completely lucid. He’s cooperating for now, but if he changes we might not be able to contain him.’ She smiled grimly. ‘He’s asking for you.’

Nick had known about Doctor Banner for years, but the man had been too slippery for even SHIELD to track. General Ross and his goons had captured and imprisoned him at a secret weapons facility. Agent Romanoff had infiltrated and confirmed Banner’s position, and SHIELD had stormed the building and recovered him.

‘Director Fury, I wouldn’t advise going in there,’ a guard warned as Nick reached for the cell door.

Nick glared at him. ‘We need to earn Banner’s trust. Ross had him experimented on for months; I am not negotiating from behind a reinforced door.’

Clearly no one was happy about that, but Maria only nodded and backed away as the lock clunked open. Nick stepped inside and it locked again behind him.

The bunk looked tiny in the large cell, as did the man who sat on it, gently wringing his hands. He looked up warily as Nick walked towards him. ‘Director Fury, I presume?’ he said in a voice hoarse from lack of use. Now free of Ross’ sedatives, the bruises on his face and arms were healing rapidly. He had six months of scraggly beard and his hair was wild and unkempt, yet he projected an air of quiet dignity. For a guy who’d appeared to be at death’s door mere hours ago, he looked remarkably healthy.

Banner eyed him distrustfully. ‘You military?’

‘Technically I’m ex-military.’ Nick stopped in front of him. ‘I apologise for the… security precautions, though I suspect they’re more for our peace of mind than yours. Can I trust you to answer a few questions?’

Something glittered behind Banner’s dark eyes. ‘Depends what you want to know. Do I get to ask one first?’

Nick nodded. ‘By all means.’

‘Why did you save me from the facility? I’m guessing it wasn’t because you felt sorry for me.’ A muscle twitched in Banner’s jaw. He presented an inscrutable exterior, but Nick recognised the haunted look in his eyes. He’d clearly been through hell and back, and wasn’t about to take any more bullshit. Best to give it to him straight.

‘We’ve been tracking Ross a long time. I disagree that the Hulk is a weapon to be mass-produced, so call it self preservation if you will. I also want to ask for your help. Your field of research – ’

‘You want... my help?’ His eyebrows raised.

‘I would have sent you an email but you don’t strike me as the social type.’

‘ _My_ help? Not the monster?’

Nick held his gaze. ‘I want the Tesseract back and the world safe. Unless your big green friend is the world’s expert on gamma radiation, I’d prefer to know him on a long-distance basis only.’

Banner studied him for a long moment, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Finally, he leaned back. ‘I’m listening.’


	4. Purrfect (Bruce/Stephen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Magic
> 
> Stephen checks up on Bruce after he was previously turned into a cat. It seems some of the effects are still lingering…

As Stephen entered the lab, he watched Bruce push his empty mug off the edge of the table and onto the floor. ‘Busy, Doctor?’

Bruce blinked and looked down at the shattered mug, then put his head in his hands. ‘That’s a cat thing, isn’t it? Shit…’

Last week, the Avengers had been hit with a spell that turned them into animals. Stephen had defeated the sorcerer and changed them all back, but a week later Clint was still chasing squirrels and yesterday he’d caught Tony eating a fly. Bruce seemed to be suffering worse than most, though.

‘So, no improvement in your symptoms?’

‘None,’ he groaned. ‘I can’t focus. I keep wanting to sit in boxes or climb things, and if I even _smell_ tuna I can’t control myself. Now Tony’s bought a laser pointer and thinks it’s funny to make me run after it–’

‘It _is_ weird your symptoms are so strong,’ Stephen agreed, walking over. He didn’t miss the way Bruce’s eyes lingered on his mouth before guiltily looking away.

The two of them were quite familiar these days. Tony was often out playing Iron Man, so Stephen relayed messages through Bruce instead. Stephen didn’t mind; he rather enjoyed flustering the prickly little scientist. Bruce kept a tight lid on his emotions, but he was getting good at making him blush.

And he blushed pretty hard when Stephen cupped his cheek. ‘I must have missed something. Open.’ Bruce reluctantly opened his mouth and he gently pushed his lip back to check for fangs. ‘No claws, fur, anything?’

‘Uh-uh.’

Satisfied, Stephen ran his fingers through Bruce’s curly hair. ‘Not hiding a second pair of ears in here, are you?’

Bruce just sighed and closed his eyes. From somewhere deep within him, there was a rumbling sound.

Stephen chuckled. ‘You’re purring.’

He snapped awake. ‘I’m not.’

‘You so are.’ Smirking, he stroked his thumb down the back of Bruce’s neck and was rewarded with a louder purr. ‘That is adorable.’

Bruce rolled his eyes, but he didn’t pull away. ‘You’re not helping.’

‘My guess is there’s some part of you that wasn’t changed back. My counter-spell wasn’t perfect, and you and Hulk are a package deal. Flirting aside, I might have to check you over properly.’

He huffed a laugh. ‘Really?’

‘It’s probably something small. Any ideas where I should start?’

With a sigh, Bruce stepped away. ‘I might have an inkling.’ And he turned away to unbuckle his belt. ‘Don’t laugh,’ he warned.

Stephen’s brain shut down for a moment as Bruce shoved his hand down the back of his pants… and unravelled a long, fluffy brown tail. ‘Oh. At least you didn’t get the barbed penis.’ He stared at it with amusement. Like a cat’s tail, it was constantly on the move, and the redder Bruce’s face grew, the more it flicked irritably from side to side. ‘You’ve had that _all week?’_

‘You said the effects would wear off on their own,’ said Bruce defensively, still holding up his pants with one hand.

‘Yes, the _psychological_ effects! What, did you think it was going to drop off by itself? Let me take a look.’

‘I thought you were a brain surgeon, not a vet,’ he grumbled. But he shivered as Stephen took hold of his tail, sliding his hand down to the base.

‘Incredible, still attached to the tailbone…’

‘Your hand is on my ass.’

He winked. ‘Complaining?’

Bruce pressed his lips together to hide a smile, and his tail stilled a little. ‘Could at least buy me a drink first.’

Stephen moved his hand to the small of his back instead. ‘I could do that. Little saucer of milk?’

He laughed shyly. ‘I’m more of a coffee kind of guy.’

‘Coffee it is.’ He still hadn’t moved away from their half-embrace. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Bruce’s tail twitch happily back and forth. Bruce himself was nearly inscrutable, so to see him expressing so openly was a treat. ‘I’ll even throw in a tuna sandwich.’

Bruce didn’t bother to hide his smile. ‘You’re serious?’

‘Of course I’m serious. I would have asked you earlier, but you were still coughing up hairballs.’ With a wave of his hand, the tail was gone. ‘Shame. It looked good on you.’

Bruce sighed with relief as he re-buckled his belt. ‘Thanks.’

‘Give it a few more days for the effects to wear off but you should be fine. What time are you free?’

‘Uh, I still have to finish up here, but… seven?’

Bruce’s eyes widened as Stephen leaned in close… and oh-so-gently kissed his cheek. ‘See you at seven, kitten.’

This time, there was no mistaking Bruce’s purring.


	5. #Bretty (Bruce/Betty)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Long Distance Relationship
> 
> Whilst Betty is away for a conference, the media keeps shipping Bruce with his fellow Avengers. It’s like everyone’s forgotten he already has a girlfriend...

MON 07/15, 02:23PM

 **Betty:** I’m watching the news live :( hope you’re ok out there xxx

 **Betty:** Call me when you can. Love you xxx

07:12PM

 **Bruce:** H ey

 **Betty:** You kick some ass for me?

 **Bruce:** prObably, I don’t remember anuthing after the robotsshowed up

 **Bruce:** Im ok though xxxxxxx

 **Betty:** Ru back at the tower? I picked the worst time to go away for 2-month secondment ffs

 **Bruce:** Yh back now. Team all fine, ate and showered. Iknow u owrry xxx

 **Bruce:** Sleepng now. Will call you int he morning xxx

 **Betty:** You saved a lot of lives today xxx

THURS 07/18, 10:03AM

 **Betty:** I didn’t know you and Natasha were dating lol

 **Bruce:** Uh, neither did I?

_Betty sent a link_

**Bruce:** “Loving embrace” is a bit of a stretch, in that photo I was post-Hulk and I nearly passed out on the walk to the jet

 **Bruce:** They conveniently didn’t publish the moment right after when I threw up on her

 **Betty:** Bruce :( xxx

 **Bruce:** We are very definitely not a thing xxxxx

 **Betty:** I know xxx

TUES 07/23, 4:14PM

 **Betty:** So… this rumour that you’re dating Tony Stark…?

 **Bruce:** Seriously?

 **Bruce:** …Do I even want to see the article?

_Betty sent a link_

**Betty:** You got photographed at a party together. That’s all the proof they need apparently

 **Bruce:** His arm was around me because Clint was taking a photo!

 **Bruce:** The gay undertones were clearly so subtle we BOTH missed it

 **Bruce:** Oh god…

 **Betty:** What?

 **Bruce:** I’m a trophy wife

 **Betty:** lol

SAT 07/27, 11:31PM

 **Bruce:** Steve tweeted something in response to a Hulk smear campaign and I guess that means we’re dating now

 **Bruce:** #Stulk is now trending

 **Betty:** Cpt America has a twitter? :O

 **Bruce:** Careful, if you follow him that means he’s dating you too

 **Betty:** I’m open to the poly idea, let’s be a threeple :3

 **Bruce:** I… can’t tell if you’re joking or not

WED 07/31, 09:10AM

 **Betty:** 1 more week til I’m back in NY! Try not to date anyone before then :P

 **Bruce:** You haven’t seen the news?

 **Betty:** Oh god what now lol

 **Bruce:** Well, rumour is that General Ross was determined to catch me when I was on the run, not just because of Hulk but because he had something else to hide…

 **Betty:**?!

 **Bruce:** Apparently we had a secret romance and he was trying to hide our scandalous gay relationship

 **Betty:** What the FUCK

 **Bruce:** Because being gay is apparently worse than human experimentation and creating mutant supersoldiers

 **Betty:** You’re fucking my dad now??

 **Betty:** Do ppl not know I exist?

 **`Bruce:** Maybe we were a threeple

 **Betty:** *vom*

 **Betty:** Bet he’s thrilled

 **Bruce:** It’ll hurt his reputation more than mine :)

 **Betty:** Do I need to make a public statement?

 **Bruce:** Would anyone even listen at this point?

 **Betty:** Fair

SAT 08/03, 10:27AM

 **Bruce:** Now I’m dating Nick Fury :(

 **Betty:** I don’t even know who that is?

 **Bruce:** Just hurry up and come home so I can kiss you somewhere public. This is getting ridiculous

 **Betty:** After that, you can kiss me somewhere more private ;)

 **Bruce:** I’ll tell Fury the wedding is cancelled…

01:13PM

 **Bruce:** How’s the work going?

 **Betty:** Great, actually. So great that we’re ahead of schedule :D

 **Bruce:** Yay :) You might be home sooner?

 **Betty:** Well…

 **Betty:** Hey, what floor are you on right now?

 **Bruce:** 67

 **Bruce:** Why?

 **Betty:** :)

 **Bruce:** You’re here??

 **Betty:** :D

 **Betty:** I’m in the elevator! Pls put down any dangerous chemicals before I get there and hug tackle you

 **Bruce:** Preparing for hug tackle

 **Bruce:** I can’t believe you’re here xxx

 **Betty:** No more secondments, no more business trips. I’m all yours

 **Betty:** And tomorrow we’re shutting these rumours down

 **Bruce:** Oh, yes please xxx

 **Bruce:** #Bretty?

 **Betty:** #Bretty!

 **Bruce:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 2 Bruce/Ross fics on here, which is 2 more than I'd expected to find. This fandom is nothing if not thorough!


	6. Wordbound (Bruce/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Soulmates
> 
> Your soulmate's first words are written on the palm of your hand. Bruce gets “Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilise the quantum tunnelling effect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate aus aren’t usually my jam, but _in-universe_ soulmate aus? That I can get behind.

On his eighteenth birthday, the words appear on Bruce’s hand. The first words his soulmate will address to him. The words that will one day change his life:

_“Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilise the quantum tunnelling effect.”_

It’s a little bizarre, but that’s good. The unlucky ones have only a _good morning_ to go on. His soulmate must be a physicist, like him. Bruce studies hard, confident that his future lies in the sciences.

Years pass. At university, he falls in love with Betty. But they aren’t destined, and Bruce dreads the day he might one day lose her. When he meets Erik Selvig, famed astrophysicist, he’s sure his soulmate is close.

Then Hulk happens. Then his life falls apart.

He spends five years running across the world, desperately seeking a cure. Every day, he stares at the words on his palm and wonders where his soulmate is. He curses them for not being here when he needs a friend. And then he prays that they never have to endure his company.

The assassin finds him in Kolkata. SHIELD want him to find a dangerous “Tesseract” that has been stolen. Bruce goes with them against his better judgement, and only hours later he’s standing in a room with Captain America, the Norse god of thunder and a disgruntled Russian assassin.

It turns out that Selvig was studying the Tesseract when it was stolen. Now he’s missing too, along with several tons of rare metal.

‘Iridium.’ He paces the floor, glasses clutched in his hand. ‘What do they need the iridium for?’ Over the years he’s grown fond of Selvig. He can only hope Loki needs him alive for now.

‘It’s a stabilising agent.’ Tony Stark saunters into the room without a glance at any of them, launching into a scientific monologue about the Tesseract. Bruce is impressed; he knew Stark was a robotics genius, but apparently he taught himself astrophysics overnight. The man positively oozes smug charm.

Captain Rogers is less impressed. ‘Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?’ he asks pointedly, just to keep them on track.

Bruce nods. ‘He’d have to heat the cube to 120 million kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.’

‘Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilise the quantum tunnelling effect.’

Bruce whips around to see his soulmate walking towards him and the air leaves his lungs in a soft laugh of disbelief.

It’s _Tony Stark._

It takes a moment for his science brain to shift back into gear. ‘Well if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.’

As soon as the words leave his lips, Tony freezes. His eyes widen just a little, and for a moment all the bluster and bravado falls away. Then he breaks into a huge grin. ‘Finally, someone who speaks English.’

‘Is that what just happened?’ Rogers mutters, but Bruce has completely lost track of the conversation because Tony is striding over, reaching for a handshake, and written on his palm is Bruce’s musing about ion fusion.

When they shake hands, their words are pressed together. ‘It’s good to meet you, Doctor Banner,’ says Tony softly.

There’s a lump in Bruce’s throat. ‘I – you – ‘

‘Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled,’ he says sincerely, still holding his hand, and honestly Bruce could cry because Tony _knows who and what he is_ and he isn’t running away. ‘Oh, and I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.’ He winks.

‘Uh, thanks.’ Tony’s easygoing nature is infectious. Somehow he finds himself smiling at a Hulk joke.

‘Doctor Banner is only here to track the cube,’ says Fury, striding in with a disapproving glance at Tony. ‘I was hoping you might join him.’

Tony looks innocently at Bruce, but there’s a delighted twinkle in his warm brown eyes. ‘Shall we play, Doctor?’

Bruce gestures towards the open door which leads to the lab. Maybe it’s the lighting, but when he looks at his hand Tony’s words seem a little bolder against his skin, the letters a little clearer around the edges. ‘After you,’ he murmurs.


	7. Tide (Bruce & Steve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Ocean
> 
> After the events of Ultron, Bruce washes up on a beach. Steve shows up to take him home, but he might need some persuading first.

Two weeks after Sokovia, Bruce is found.

‘Quinjet just sent out a crash log,’ Tony holds up his phone. ‘It’s in the sea, just off the English coast.’

Natasha gasps. ‘Oh my god…’

‘I’ll bring him back,’ says Steve, already marching from the room.

He takes a jet, and one hour later he’s running along the beach. The tide is on the way out, and his feet slap on cold, wet sand. He doesn’t know what he’ll find, but the longer he searches the more his heart sinks.

Finally he spots the Quinjet, half-submerged. Seagulls gather on the protruding wing. Further down the beach, there are Hulk-sized footprints. Steve follows them for about half a mile, and eventually they shrink down, accompanied by handprints where Bruce has dragged himself along.

At the end of the trail, a man lies curled up on the ground. There’s seaweed in his hair and his bare back is caked with sand, and he’s trembling in the cold air.

‘You know, when Tony said we all needed a vacation, I don’t think this is what he meant.’ Steve crouches down in front of him. ‘You did great, Bruce. We stopped Ultron and evacuated Sokovia.’

Bruce’s hands cover his face. When he speaks, his voice is barely audible over the crashing waves. ‘I need to leave.’

Steve’s stomach drops. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I am _tired_ of being a weapon. Point me at the enemy and pull the trigger. That’s all I’ll ever be good for. On good days I kill strangers. On bad days I kill everyone.’

Of course he’s still upset about what Wanda caused Hulk to do. He reaches out. ‘Bruce…’

The moment he touches his shoulder, Bruce flinches and scrambles away, glaring at him from a crouch that’s almost animal-like. ‘But I go back there because Natasha’s in danger. I go back because it’s the right thing to do. And she – ‘ He stares out at the sea. ‘Even the people you love start to see you as a weapon.’

They’d all noticed how close Natasha and Bruce had grown lately. Now Steve wonders why Natasha didn’t volunteer to come here. ‘You’re not a weapon Bruce, you’re our friend. You’re an Avenger – ‘

‘I don’t deserve to be on this team,’ Bruce snaps, standing up. His eyes are red as if he’s been crying. ‘Ultron was _my_ doing, _I_ caused this.’ He looks ready to bolt at any moment, though they both know there’s nowhere to go.

Steve dares to take a step closer. ‘You acted with good intentions. That’s all any of us can do.’

‘You don’t get to absolve me of my past sins.’ He runs a hand through his hair, dislodging grit and seaweed.

‘Come back with us,’ Steve murmurs. ‘Please.’

Bruce smiles sadly. ‘I tried the sticking around thing Steve, it doesn’t work. I just endanger the people I care about.’ There’s no fight in him. Bruce Banner, wearing nothing but pants and the weight of the world on his shoulders, is as immovable as a rock.

And Steve has heard enough.

‘You want to blame yourself for this? For all of it? Fine.’ In two steps he’s nearly standing on Bruce’s toes, and Bruce reluctantly looks up at him. ‘Then start making up for it. Whatever Nat did to you, _talk_ to her. Take some goddamn responsibility instead of running away when _you_ decide everything’s your fault.’

Bruce blinks hard and stumbles back a step, shaking his head. This time, when Steve grabs his arm he doesn’t pull away. His skin is cold and gritty.

‘I’m still your leader. And it’s my job to keep you safe.’

For a moment, all the grief and pain and self-hatred peeks through Bruce’s blank façade. Tears well up in his dark eyes and with one look he seems to age ten years. Because in his eyes, this is cyclical, Steve realises. Whenever he finds peace, he expects to have it ripped away from him. And that is what happened with Ultron.

Bruce whispers, ‘You couldn’t keep any of us safe.’

The words hit him right in the gut, but he doesn’t back away. ‘Then let me try.’

They stare at each other for a long moment.

Bruce doesn’t hug him exactly, rather he just falls against him and lets Steve hold him tight. Steve rests his chin on his damp head and doesn’t let go until some of the chill has faded from Bruce’s body.

Finally, Bruce pulls away with a sniff. ‘Where are we, anyway?’

‘Uh, somewhere in the north of England.’ Steve shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over his shoulders. ‘You hungry?’

He smiles weakly. ‘Starving.’

‘Probably no shawarma here but they might do fish and chips or something.’

They walk back up the beach together. Steve knows that Ultron has created rifts between them all, but this is how they’ll get through it: one day at a time. Together.

After all, that’s what teams are for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious if any Brutasha fics deal with that post-kiss shove she gives him in Ultron. Bit dramatic of Bruce to literally leave the planet, tho


	8. Nosebleed (Bruce/Natasha)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Bruce defends Natasha from an attacker. Natasha cleans him up.
> 
> TW: Blood and mentions of catcalling/being followed

It was supposed to have been a nice, normal date night. Natasha had expected it to end with a glass of wine and probably some enthusiastic sex.

She hadn’t expected it to end with her helping Bruce into the kitchen whilst he clutched his nose and apologised for dripping blood over the floor.

‘You’re a pretty good fighter,’ she said, kicking off her high heels and grabbing a handful of paper towels. ‘Where did you learn moves like that?’

‘Brazil.’ Bruce hooked a dining chair with his foot and collapsed into it gratefully. ‘Can’t expect the other guy to help every time.’ His jacket was torn at the shoulders, and blood had dripped down his neck and onto his collar. He smiled apologetically. ‘Are _you_ okay?’

She snorted. ‘Yeah, he didn’t even touch me. Thanks to you.’ She cupped his cheek and Bruce obediently tilted his head back so she could mop up the mess.

They’d gone out for an evening meal but on the walk home some creep had followed them, shouting lewd comments at Natasha. Ignoring him had only made him aggressive, and when he’d caught up with them she’d been ready to take him down – but Bruce had gotten there first.

When she was finished, Bruce leaned forward and pinched his nose with a tissue. Natasha watched him for a long moment. They’d been going out for a few months now, but he still found ways to surprise her. On dates he was always gentlemanly – opening the door for her, pulling out her chair when they went to restaurants. So it had been a shock to see him fight someone and then knock them out with a roundhouse kick.

‘It was kinda hot seeing you go full white knight on me.’ She planted a kiss on his forehead before throwing the bloody towels in the trash.

‘Taks,’ he muttered as she pressed a bag of frozen peas against the swelling on his temple.

‘You’re gonna have a nice big bump there in the morning.’ She crouched down in front of him until he reluctantly met her eyes. ‘You do know I could have taken him, right?’

‘I dow.’

‘And that I am vastly overqualified to deal with a catcalling asshole?’

‘Yeb.’

She laughed in exasperation. ‘So why did you do it, you dork? Why didn’t you let me knock him on his ass?’

He lowered the tissue and looked up at her. ‘Because you shouldn’t have to. And I don’t mean that in a white knight, guy-protecting-the-girl kind of way.’ There was a sad warmth in those dark eyes. ‘Just because you _can_ manage on your own, that doesn’t mean you should have to.’

Slowly, she rose to her feet. ‘Well, I appreciate it,’ she said, and leaned down to kiss him softly. ‘You still taste like blood,’ she murmured against his lips.

Bruce pinched his nose again. ‘Kida spoiled the bood of the evedig, didn’t it?’

Natasha cocked her head to one side. ‘I don’t know, you’ve got this mussed-up rugged look going on right now, I like it.’

He smirked up at her. ‘I aib to please.’

She ran a hand through his curly hair. ‘Love you. My hero.’

Bruce closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, clutching his nose in one hand and the frozen peas in the other. ‘Lub you too.’


	9. Unburgled (Bruce/Scott)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8: Eight
> 
> Scott breaks into Bruce’s apartment, only to find that there’s nothing worth stealing. Except for Bruce's heart perhaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recently watched Ant-Man 1 and 2 and ADORED them. Scotty needs more love in this fandom he's an absolute sweetie.
> 
> This takes place before Ant-Man 1 and before Avengers 2012. Canon? I don't know her.

It was Luis who discovered that Doctor Banner was living in an apartment in San Francisco.

Well, Luis had heard it from some guy in the bar whose friend’s wife’s brother’s girlfriend reckoned they’d seen him, so Scott was taking it with a huge pinch of salt.

But if it was true, he had the chance to hit back at one of the most dangerous scientists in the world. And Scott was all about payback.

So he gathered up his tools, waited until 3am, then broke into Banner’s apartment. Surprisingly, there was no high-tech security system. Or expensive stuff worth stealing. Or… anything at all, really,

The “living room” had no furniture, unless you counted the milk crate in the corner that presumably served as a chair. There was no fridge or microwave, and the bathroom door was missing. Newspaper covered the windows in lieu of curtains.

Scott stared in open-mouthed horror. Then a pile of blankets shifted in the corner and there was the man himself. Bruce (it was hard to think of him as Doctor Banner right now) squinted up at him. ‘Are you... robbing me?’ he asked in a voice still thick with sleep.

‘No,’ said Scott. ‘Okay, yes. Well no, I’m _burgling_ you. Or I was. You’re Doctor Banner, right? You’re smaller than the pictures.’ Bruce continued to stare and he realised he was rambling. ‘I was gonna take some stuff to financially inconvenience you but... there’s not a lot to steal.’

‘Sorry to disappoint you.’ Bruce sat up, one eyebrow raised in amusement. ‘There’s eight dollars under the crate if you want it.’

Scott had to be missing something here. This was the same Doctor Banner who worked on the super soldier project, who should have limitless military funding to make more Hulks? Yet here he was, dark-eyed and gaunt and living in squalor (and cute in a ruffled way, but that wasn’t relevant right now). ‘You’re not with Ross anymore, are you?’

A muscle twitched in Bruce’s jaw. ‘No. They lied about the project; I was never “with” him in the first place.’

Now Scott just felt like shit. ‘Well, this awkward,’ he said eventually.

Bruce stood up, eyes shining in the dark as he walked towards him. Scott’s first thought was _oh shit I broke into the Hulk’s house_ , then when he got close his second was _is he going to kiss me?_ And before he could process _that_ line of thought Bruce had walked past him to pick up a battered kettle. ‘Do you… want tea?’

Now it was Scott’s turn to stare. ‘Why would – I don’t – you know what? Why not.’

He shrugged, suddenly shy. ‘You might as well steal some of my time instead.’

‘Do you usually ask burglars to stay for tea?’

Bruce took the kettle into the bathroom to fill it. ‘No. I guess that makes you special.’

Whilst his back was turned, Scott lifted up the milk crate. Sure enough, there was eight dollars’ worth of coins stashed beneath it.

Scott took out his wallet and emptied out everything he had. Then he replaced the crate and sat on it. ‘This isn’t gonna be poison tea or anything, is it?’

Bruce actually chuckled as he returned. ‘We both know I don’t need poison to kill anyone.’

‘That’s not reassuring, somehow.’

Bruce plugged the kettle into a dangerous-looking outlet and busied himself finding mugs. This guy had to be seriously lonely if he was willing to entertain a literal burglar _._

Scott sent a text to Luis. _I might need a favour._

The reply was instant. _Sure thing bro! Just name it!_

 _You know that kitchen stuff you’re trying to get rid of?_ Luis had stolen much more than smoothie machines in the past. To this day, Scott had never figured out how he’d stolen an oven and a refrigerator and a bed, amongst other things. Or why, for that matter. _I think I know where they’d be useful._ Hopefully Bruce wouldn’t ask where they’d come from.

‘Thanks,’ he said as Bruce handed him a mug. ‘I’m Scott, by the way.’

Bruce’s responding smile was small but genuine, and it lifted some of the shadows from his eyes. ‘If you’re looking for rich, corrupt scientists to steal from I could give you a few pointers.’

Scott winked. ‘Now you’re talking my language.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also heavily inspired by [this Tumblr post](https://ifunny.co/picture/i-burglar-gently-waking-me-you-live-like-this-BfzVveOk4) (sadly I couldn't find the original)


	10. Sniffle (Bruce & Steve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Illness
> 
> Bruce has a cold. Steve takes care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt begged for a sickfic, so... have a sickfic. Pre-slash if you squint!

‘You should have stayed on the ship, Bruce,’ said Steve as he carried the disgruntled, sniffling scientist up the ramp of the Quinjet. ‘You’re sick.’

‘M’fine,’ Bruce wheezed. ‘You needed Hulk. I wasn’t going to just sit back and watch.’ He reeked of stagnant water, and pondweed dangled from his dripping hair. The tattered remains of his pants were wet and dirty.

‘Did Hulk fall in the lake?’ Clint laughed from the pilot’s seat. ‘Oh Bruce, you poor bastard!’

Bruce glared at him blearily, shivering in the warmth of the jet, and when Steve sat him down he doubled over with a series of shuddering, hacking coughs.

‘Jesus, Bruce.’ Tony winced. ‘I thought you didn’t get sick?’

Bruce rasped something about Hulk not killing pathogens despite being immune to them, but it quickly devolved into another coughing fit.

‘Sounds pretty serious,’ Steve said, sitting down next to him. Before the serum, Steve had gotten sick a lot. He could easily have died from something like this.

Bruce smiled grimly, and in a voice like crunched gravel uttered, ‘Just a cold, Cap. I’ll be f – ah – _atchoo_!’ He sneezed into his elbow.

Tony grabbed a pack of tissues from the overhead compartment and tossed them to him. ‘Green inside and out, huh?’

He blew his nose feebly. ‘Thanks.’

‘He’ll be okay, Steve,’ said Natasha, noticing his worry. ‘We get colds all the time.’

Steve watched Bruce dab at his streaming eyes. ‘So did I. Has anyone got a blanket or something?’

Thor stood up and removed his cape. ‘Will this suffice?’

‘Perfect.’

Bruce blinked in surprise as Steve wrapped it around him, then managed a small, genuine smile. Steve realised that he probably wasn’t used to being cared for after five years on the run. He took slightly longer than necessary to make sure Bruce was completely covered, then pulled the pondweed from his hair.

‘Rogers, stop mother henning him,’ Tony tutted. ‘Let the man sleep.’

Bruce stuffed the used tissue in his pocket and jammed a second against his nose. ‘I _wish_ I could sleep.’

‘What was the forties cure for a cold?’ Natasha asked.

Steve shrugged. ‘Mug of cocoa and a pile of blankets.’

She smiled gently. ‘Not so different here.’

Tony snorted. _‘Cocoa_. You’re such a grandpa.’

Bruce raised his head. ‘I like cocoa,’ he said defensively.

‘You’re a grandpa too.’

‘I’m only five months older than you.’

‘Age is a mindset, Brucie.’

Natasha smirked. ‘And _you_ stopped aging a long time ago.’

Bruce laughed – which triggered another bout of coughing.

Steve wrapped an arm around him. Despite his shivering, heat radiated from his body. ‘No debrief for you. You’re going straight to bed and that’s an order.’

Bruce slumped gratefully against his shoulder. ‘Sounds good to me.’


	11. *Pollen (Bruce/Thor)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10: Bunnies
> 
> Thor and Bruce are infected with sex pollen.
> 
> TW: Sex pollen and "PG" smut (mature chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets a mature rating just to cover myself :)

Thor crossed the floor in three long strides and threw Bruce up against the wall. ‘I can resist this no longer. I must have you, Bruce.’

‘Please,’ Bruce groaned, fingers digging into his broad shoulders. ‘I don’t think I can hold on another minute.’

Behind them, the rest of the Avengers looked on from their seats. ‘Could you maybe _try_ and hold on another minute?’ asked Natasha. ‘At least until we land?’

Neither of them responded, too busy making out to listen.

Tony watched with detached fascination. ‘I thought sex pollen was a myth.’

Clint sighed from the pilot seat. ‘I thought _truth serum_ was a myth. By the way, I switched your coffee to decaf this morning – shit.’

‘I knew it!’

‘This isn’t the time,’ Steve snapped. ‘Is there no cure for them? Should we try and break them apart?’

‘There’s no cure,’ said Clint. ‘I checked the database. You just have to let it run its course. The amount they got hit with… they’re gonna be at it a while.’

Bruce wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist, both of them dissolving into soft moans.

‘Clint,’ Natasha called, ‘anything you can do to get us back faster? It’s about to get a lot less PG in here.’

Steve covered his eyes. ‘This is awful. Is there nothing we can do for them?’

‘It’s – it’s fine, Cap,’ Bruce gasped as Thor broke their kiss to bite his neck. ‘We’ve – _oh god_ – we’ve been together for three months. It seemed safer to take one for the team.’ His hands scrabbled for purchase on Thor’s smooth armour.

‘You’re _dating?’_ Steve looked to Tony. ‘Did _you_ know about this?’

‘Nope.’

‘I did,’ said Clint.

Tony frowned. ‘Since when?’

‘Since I caught them fucking on the kitchen counter last Thursday – oops.’

Steve groaned. ‘Guys, we _eat_ there!’

There was a loud ripping sound as Thor freed Bruce of his shirt – in two separate pieces. A few moments later, Thor’s pants fell to his ankles. Only his cloak still provided him with some modesty.

Everyone groaned at once. ‘Can’t you boys go settle this in the cargo area?’ said Natasha.

The two of them paused, and Thor actually glanced at her over his shoulder in surprise. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

‘Because you were thinking with your dick. Go take it in the other room before Steve has an aneurysm.’

Thor threw Bruce over his shoulder and stumbled towards the back of the Quinjet. Bruce offered them an apologetic wave. ‘We were going to tell you all, it just never seemed the right time.’

Tony suddenly stood up and grabbed a bottle from under the seat. ‘Catch! Don’t want Point Break tearing you a literal new one.’

Bruce caught the bottle of lube, unimpressed. ‘I’m not gonna ask why you keep this here.’

The cargo door slammed shut behind them. Steve looked to Tony. ‘Why didn’t _you_ think of the cargo area?’

‘Honestly? Didn’t occur,’ he said innocently.

They all jumped as a voice crackled through the speakers. _‘Avengers, status report?’_

Clint leaned forward to respond. ‘All crew present, sir.’

Natasha frowned. ‘Maybe someone else should report to Fury – ’

‘I’ve always liked your eyepatch, I think it gives you a rugged, masculine charm.’

There was a lengthy pause. _‘I’ll bear that in mind. Any injuries?’_

‘None worth noting. I did get dosed with truth serum, though.’

_‘I see.’_

‘And Thor and Bruce got a full hit of sex pollen.’

_‘Come again?’_

Thor’s groan of relief was fully audible behind the door.

Clint smirked. ‘Probably sir, yes.’

_‘I don’t understand.’_

‘They're fucking like bunnies Director, but I think they'll be fine.'

Steve put his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bunnies" was such a lovely prompt but I corrupted it into something impure I'm so sorry :P
> 
> I do think there's a niche for "sex pollen + established couple" though - it does away with the usual dubcon and turns it into happy sex fest


	12. In Your Arms (Bruce/Thor)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11: Light
> 
> Bruce has always been a light sleeper. Thor is quite the opposite.
> 
> TW: Mentions of Bruce’s childhood

Bruce has always been a light sleeper.

When he was small, he would stay up late and listen for his father to come home from a night of drinking, wondering when it would happen and if he would storm into Bruce’s room.

As a teenager, he was plagued with nightmares as he bounced between foster homes, haunted by memories of his mother’s death.

At college he met Betty, and sleeping became a little easier. But he would always jerk awake when students walked past their door, home from a night of partying at 3am. Their heavy footsteps were too much like his father’s.

When Hulk happened, his nightmares came true. Soldiers broke into his room when he was sleeping, many times, and he was always only half a step ahead of them. Bruce always slept fully-clothed, on top of the blankets, with a knife under the pillow. And that was if he slept at all.

Tonight he awakens with a shout, but his father isn’t here and neither are the soldiers. In Stark Tower, safety is still a new concept to him, but it’s one he’s learning to like.

Bruce looks over. Beside him, Thor snores like a power drill. His hair is tangled over the pillow, and a string of drool hangs from his open mouth. One curled fist rests on the pillow beside him. Even in sleep he is a steady, comforting presence.

Thor’s snoring quietens as Bruce snuggles up against him. The nightmares have improved since they moved in together, because he knows Thor will keep him safe. If the ghost of his father walked through the door right now, Thor would bash him in the nuts with Mjolnir and lightning-storm him back into the afterlife. (An unlikely scenario, but one that brings Bruce comfort to imagine.)

Thor mumbles something in his sleep and hugs Bruce a little tighter. With a smile, Bruce pulls the blankets more securely around them, closes his eyes, and falls asleep again in his boyfriend’s arms.

This time he does not dream.


	13. Roller Coaster (Bruce/Clint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12: Meet Cute
> 
> Bruce is scared of roller coasters. Clint is the very unlucky stranger who ends up sitting next to him.
> 
> TW: Graphic vomit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riddle me a meet-cute scenario that _doesn't_ scream HulkEye. It's the glorious hot mess of Bruce ships.

‘It’ll be fun,’ Tony insisted for the third time since they’d joined the line.

Bruce fixed him with a cynical stare. ‘It’s literally called the _Doom Coaster_ , Tony.’ As if it wasn’t sad enough to be a forty-year-old guy at an amusement park, now he had to endure a roller coaster full of screaming kids.

‘You’ll love it. Best ride in the park.’ Tony smirked. ‘Unless you’re too chicken?’

Bruce rolled his eyes. ‘I already said I’ll do it. But this is the last ride I’m going on, okay?’

He pouted. ‘Fine.’

When they reached the front of the line, Tony hurried to bag the front seat. Before Bruce could join him, a red-haired woman pushed in front and nabbed the space beside him. ‘You snooze, you lose!’ she chirped, then smiled at Tony. ‘Hi.’

Tony looked guiltily at Bruce.

‘It’s fine,’ he said, ‘I’ll sit further down.’ By now most of the seats were taken, but he found one at the very back. ‘Mind if I go here?’

A man in a black hoodie with short, sandy hair shrugged back at him. ‘Sure.’

When the safety bar came down, Bruce felt a sudden surge of panic. ‘Have you been on this before?’

‘Nah. I’m not really a fan of coasters. My friend Nat grabbed a seat at the front because she’s an adrenaline freak, but I prefer it back here. Hey, are you gonna be okay? You look a little pale.’

The coaster jolted to life, rattling up the steep slope. It seemed to take forever. When Bruce finally dared to look down, he saw tiny people on the ground… and an enormous drop ahead.

‘Oh, fuck me,’ he muttered.

Then they were hurtling towards the ground, the wind whistling in their ears. The other riders screamed joyfully. Even his new friend whooped as they dove into a tunnel, then emerged into the bright sunlight. ‘Pretty fun, right?’

Bruce suddenly wished he hadn’t eaten so much cheap fair food earlier. ‘I forgot I hate roller coasters,’ he grunted.

‘It’ll be okay. What’s your name?’

‘Bruce.’ They were climbing again and so was his anxiety. He gritted his teeth.

‘I’m Clint. I don’t really like them either but they’re perfectly safe and – uh oh.’

Bruce heard Tony laughing maniacally in front of them. Then he saw the loop-de-loops ahead. There were too many to count. ‘Shit...’

‘Nice knowing ya, Bruce,’ said Clint.

The coaster lurched forwards, gathering speed every second. The seat shook so hard Bruce was sure he’d fall out. As the front passengers began the loop ahead of them, he shut his eyes tight and waited for it to be over.

Light and dark flashed as they spun, faster and faster. The safety bar rattled alarmingly and Bruce realised this was it, he was going to fall out and die and splatter on the ground far below...

Then it was over, the sudden rush of gravity pressing him down into his seat.

Clint laughed. ‘Uh, buddy?’

At some point, Bruce had grabbed Clint’s hand. He was now clutching it so tightly his fingers were turning purple. ‘Sorry.’ He let go quickly, his face burning as they trundled back into the station. In fact, his whole body felt uncomfortably hot...

‘See, that wasn’t so bad was it?’ Clint’s voice sounded far away. ‘Bruce?’

‘Oh god I need a bag, I need a – ‘ Bruce scrabbled at the safety bar but it wouldn’t budge. In the next second his quavering stomach gave out and he violently threw up on himself. Hot vomit splattered down his jeans and a good amount of it ended up on Clint. It smelled like cotton candy and cheap hotdogs. ‘Shit, I’m so sorry...’

‘Hey, my bother Barney throws up on me all the time, it’s fine.’ Clint wiped his face on his sleeve and leaned away, grimacing at the stench. ‘I’ll let you off ‘cause you’re cute.’

Bruce squinted up at him, eyes watering. ‘Cute?’ he croaked.

The safety bars came up and everyone got out. Bruce shakily clambered off, blushing furiously as warmth slid down his legs.

When Tony saw him, he burst out laughing. ‘Oh god, Bruce I’m so sorry but – Jesus, it wasn’t _that_ bad!’ The red-haired woman smirked beside him - Nat, presumably.

Bruce sighed. ‘I’m going to go find a bathroom.’ And then he was going home. Damn Tony and his stupid ideas.

‘There’s some near the entrance, I’ll show you.’ Clint fell into step beside him. Even now, with wind-ruffled hair and sick smeared down his hoodie, he looked…

Damn, he looked _handsome_.

‘It was nice having a near-death experience with you, man. Anytime you need a vomit buddy, just give me a call. No questions asked.’

Bruce laughed shyly. ‘I think I’d need your number for that.’

‘You want it?’ Clint raised an eyebrow.

Perhaps the day wasn’t ruined after all. ‘Well, I don’t just throw up on just _anyone_.’

He snorted. ‘I’m honoured. Really. But seriously, buy you a drink sometime?’

Bruce smiled. ‘Sure.’

As they passed the food stalls, Clint grinned. ‘Hey, how about a hotdog?’

Bruce just groaned and covered his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hands you a cake with "sorry for all the vomit" written in badly-drawn icing*


	14. Tranquility (Bruce & Wong)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13: Music
> 
> Bruce stays at the Sanctum Sanctorum after the Quinjet returns safely from Asgard. Wong is a good meditation buddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in an alternate timeline where Thanos doesn't happen after Ragnarok but Bruce still has the "Hulk won't show up" problem. Because screw Endgame.

As a physicist, Bruce should probably have been frustrated by the concept of magic, but he soon adjusted to living at the Sanctum Sanctorum.

Once he’d returned home from Asgard, it soon become clear that Hulk wasn’t cooperating anymore. Loki had poked fun, but nothing Bruce could do would bring him out, even when they were attacked by a swarm of giant robots. Tony had made some calls, and Doctor Strange had invited Bruce to stay at the Sanctum for a while.

Bruce took an instant liking to the place. On his travels, he’d always liked the stillness of holy places and this felt similar. Wong had politely forbidden him from reading any magical tomes, but he found a stack of fantasy novels crammed in beside the Tomes of Transcendence (Stephen’s presumably) to keep him occupied.

Stephen spent most of the day practicing magic, but Wong would meditate for hours at a time and always invited Bruce along. Bruce hadn’t realised how turbulent his mind was until he tried to switch it off; two years as Hulk had left him restless and easily frustrated.

But Wong would guide him through breathing exercises and correct his posture until he eventually slipped into that calm stillness deep within him. His presence was forever steady and reassuring, helping Bruce to anchor himself in the present.

The Sanctum felt like a representation of times long past. So it was a surprise to open the freezer one day and find it stocked with Ben and Jerry’s.

He looked questioningly at Wong, who shrugged. ‘We don’t just live on lettuce.’

Bruce laughed and helped himself to the Stark Raving Hazelnut, pretending not to see Hulk’s roaring face on the tub Wong selected.

So much had happened in the two years he’d been away. It felt like something had been stolen from him, and he often had nightmares about the arena on Sakaar and the battle of Asgard. Bruce didn’t remember the details, but his subconscious did.

He wandered the halls at 4am, feeling lost. That was when he found Wong, sitting on the stairs with an iPod in one hand and a book in the other. ‘You have a wandering soul, Bruce,’ he said gently.

Bruce shrugged self-consciously. He’d thrown on a jacket over his pyjamas, and he knew his hair was still sleep-ruffled. ‘Why are you up so late?’

‘Not late,’ he said cryptically, ‘Early.’ He patted the space beside him.

Bruce wandered over, already relaxing a little in Wong’s presence. ‘If I haven’t been to sleep yet, it’s late.’

He chuckled, a rare sound. ‘You sound like Stephen. Here.’ He passed him a steaming cup of tea before sipping on his own. Bruce wasn’t going to ask how Wong knew he’d be here. He’d learned to accept that he and Strange knew things that others didn’t.

Once he was settled, Wong waved a hand and conjured a large portal in front of them. Beyond it, the sun was setting over a sandy beach. A warm, tropical breeze wafted into the room, and the sound of lapping waves echoed off the Sanctum’s high ceiling.

‘It’s one of my favourite beaches.’ Wong watched his amazement with a smile. ‘Just watch out for seagulls.’

They sat in silence for a while, drinking tea. Bruce wondered if Hulk would ever come back. Perhaps after two years, Hulk was ready to take both hands off the wheel. Perhaps not.

Tinny music played from the earphones that lay abandoned in Wong’s lap. He put one in, then wordlessly offered the other to Bruce, who accepted it.

 _Single Ladies_ by Beyoncé. He snorted.

‘What were you expecting, whale sounds?’ but Wong’s tone was teasing.

‘I haven’t listened to music in two years,’ he realised, feeling sad.

They gazed out at the ocean, watching the sun descend below the waves.

Wong placed the iPod in Bruce’s hand. ‘Plenty of time to catch up.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like these two would actually be good buddies: they're both quiet, studious types and deep thinkers. Wong hides himself behind a stony exterior, and Bruce does something similar in that he's careful how much of himself he shows.
> 
> It'd be a good B-plot for an IronStrange story, actually. The unproblematic couple/bromance to Tony/Stephen's endless (loving) bickering.


	15. Brewtiful (Bruce/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15: Coffee Shop AU
> 
> At the Zappy Beans coffee shop, Darcy has a new favourite customer. She’s always liked nerdy guys.

Darcy had always had a thing for nerdy guys. In fact, she prided herself on her nerd-dar (as Jane called it) and could spot an intelligent hottie at fifty paces.

So when the handsome stranger wandered into Zappy Beans at six in the morning, it immediately went off the charts. ‘Oh shit! I didn’t hear you come in. Wow, you’re up early. We only just opened.’

He nodded wearily. ‘I’m teaching a class in an hour. Perils of the job, I guess.’ He was maybe in his late thirties, with curly brown hair and dark eyes to match, and everything about him from the satchel hanging off one shoulder to the high-waisted pants to the tweed jacket screamed _nerd._

Darcy also had a thing for older guys. Shit. ‘What can I getcha?’

‘Um – ‘ He squinted at the menu behind her, then pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket (holy _fuck_ ) and put them on. ‘Latte, medium? Thanks.’

She pulled out a pen. ‘Gonna need your name.’

He frowned. ‘There’s no one else here.’

‘Hey, I don’t make the rules.’ She winked and clicked her pen.

Bemused, he smiled back. ‘It’s Bruce.’

Darcy concentrated on making the latte without burning herself. Bruce thanked her again before taking a seat by the window and working on his laptop for half an hour. It was a shame when he left; Darcy had enjoyed the eye candy.

The next morning, he was back again. Darcy prodded some more, and it turned out he was a physics professor at the local university. He was also endearingly shy. But if he noticed the heart she drew by his name on the cup, he didn’t complain. So the next day she tried something a little bolder:

_I’ve got my ion you ;)_

Bruce chuckled when he saw it. ‘Really?’

‘The cups don’t lie,’ she said with a wink, and was thrilled when he just smiled at her for a long moment before excusing himself and walking away. There was plenty more where that came from.

Over the next few weeks, Bruce came in every day. It made Darcy feel better about being up so early, and some days they’d talk a while before he assumed his spot by the window. Each day she left him a little note:

_You may be a physicist but we still have chemistry_

_Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe_

_You must be a carbon sample, cuz I wanna date you_

And each time she had the pleasure of watching him smile and blush, and they’d spend longer talking before he went to sit down.

‘Have a good day Darcy,’ Bruce said one day, handing her his empty cup.

She saluted him. ‘Go teach some stuff!’ She watched him go with a grin.

She was about to throw it away when she spotted the neat, curly handwriting on the other side of the cup:

_Because you’re a hot-tea :)_

And there was a phone number underneath it.

With a happy squeak, she dug out her phone. Nerdy, cute, _and_ he made puns? Definitely a keeper.


	16. Green Streak (Bruce/Clint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14: Metamorphosis
> 
> When Bruce has a hair emergency, he turns to Clint for help.

‘How bad is it?’ Bruce asks nervously.

Tony’s hand is pressed to his mouth as he studies Bruce’s hair. He’s very clearly trying not to laugh. ‘Would you be upset if I said you look like a reject anime character?’

With a groan, Bruce stalks out of the lab in search of a mirror. ‘I followed safety precautions, it should have been fine...’

‘Well, that’s what you get for messing with UV and not covering your head.’ Tony follows him into the bathroom.

Bruce peers into the mirror. It looks as if his hair has been struck by lightning: a huge jagged white streak runs from front to back, startlingly vivid. ‘Oh, that’s bad.’

Behind him, Tony feigns shock. ‘Woah! When did Doctor Strange get in here?’

‘You’re not helping.’ He sighs. ‘It’s fine, I’ll just dye it until it grows back.’

‘You _do_ know we have a press conference in an hour, right?’

‘Oh _shit_ …’

Bruce hurries over to Clint’s room. His boyfriend answers the door on the third knock. ‘Hey babe, I was just about to – what the hell happened to your hair?’ He laughs in amazement. ‘I mean it’s cool, but –’

‘No no, it’s terrible, you can say it.’ Bruce kisses him briefly before stepping inside. ‘Lab accident. Do you have any hair dye for undercover emergencies?’

‘Not in your shade, I don’t. And I don’t dye it for missions.’ He ruffles Bruce’s hair experimentally. ‘I’ve got bleach, but that would just make you _blond_ with a white streak and that’d be even weirder…’

Again, Bruce checks his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s not vain, but… the white makes him feel old. ‘You don’t have anything else?’

‘Nope, sorry. All I’ve got is some neon shit from Halloween.’

Bruce opens the cabinet above the sink and finds two cans of spray-on dye behind the shaving foam. One is bright orange. And the other…

Clint watches sympathetically from the doorway. ‘Want one of my baseball caps?’

‘JARVIS,’ Bruce says slowly, ‘How long until we leave?’

_‘Approximately thirty-seven minutes.’_

‘Okay.’ He snatches up a towel to wrap around his shoulders then holds out the can to Clint. ‘Spray me.’

His eyebrows raise. ‘You sure?’

‘Fuck it. Can’t make it any worse.’

‘Fair. Alright, hold your breath...’

Thirty-seven minutes later, they walk to the car. Steve sees them first. He nods at Clint, then does a double-take when he sees Bruce. ‘Trying a new style?’

Bruce shrugs bashfully. ‘Not exactly by choice.’ He’s dressed in a smart shirt and tie, but his trademark professor look is now offset by the vivid green streak in his dark hair.

‘Doesn’t he look hot?’ Clint beams, squeezing Bruce’s hand reassuringly.

‘He does,’ Natasha agrees, impressed as she appraises him from the open car window.

‘You sound surprised,’ Bruce says dryly, although he’s quietly reassured. Maybe it isn’t so terrible after all.

Then they all get in, and there’s a ‘Holy shit’ from the front seat. Tony looks at him in the driver’s mirror, then turns around to stare properly.

‘Don’t laugh,’ Bruce warns.

‘You can’t go to the press conference looking like that!’

‘Tony,’ Steve murmurs.

‘Seriously, he can’t. No one’s going to pay _us_ any attention, he’ll outshine everyone! You’re supposed to be a nerd Bruce, not a goddamn sex symbol.’

Bruce snorts. ‘Okay, you can turn down the praise a little.’

Tony just winks before turning back to start the car.

Clint kisses his cheek. ‘Told you it looks good. You’ll start a fashion trend. Profpunk! Or Hulkcore, maybe?’

As they drive, Bruce considers his reflection in the car window. It’s still a little silly, but the green is also a tongue-in-cheek nod to his alter ego. And at heart, Bruce is a sarcastic little shit. He also likes the way Clint keeps sneaking glances at him, and suddenly he can’t wait until this conference is done.

He makes a mental note to buy some more “emerald fury” later. After all, it’s nice to keep your options open.


	17. Self-Control (Bruce/Loki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16: History
> 
> After the Battle of New York, it emerges that Bruce and Loki may have... history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gammafrost was a vaguely popular ship back in 2012 and the dynamics intrigued me...

Loki looks far too happy about being put in handcuffs. ‘Why brother, no one told me it was to be _that_ kind of punishment. I should create war on Earth more often.’

‘Quiet.’ With a scowl, Thor shoves him onto Stark’s battered couch. ‘You will wait here until Father summons us home.’

The newly-assembled Avengers point their weapons at him. And then they wait in lingering, awkward silence.

‘Can we shoot him just a little bit?’ Tony pipes up.

‘Sadly, no,’ says Steve.

Loki smirks. ‘Just like old times, isn’t it darling?’

Everyone glances over to see who he’s talking to. Over in the corner, Bruce is shimmying into a pair of Tony’s jeans. He looks up nervously.

Clint scoffs. ‘Hulk just redecorated Stark’s floor with your face. I’d watch your step.’

Loki ignores him. ‘How long has it been? Since you had someone completely, _willingly_ at your mercy? You may hide yourself from them but I see right through that mild-mannered façade.’ He leans forward. Tony’s gauntlets power up in warning.

Bruce laughs softly. ‘You know nothing about me.’

‘Oh, I disagree.’ He shifts on the couch, holding up his bound hands. ‘You miss it, don’t you? The feeling of complete control, another person’s pleasure ripe for the taking… even now you can’t take your eyes off me.’

And to the shock of everyone, Bruce _blushes_. The flush of heat creeps down his bare chest, and he angles himself away to avoid their stares.

Tony looks between them in disbelief. ‘Do you two have… history?’

‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Bruce mutters. ‘It was a long time ago.’

Thor’s scowl turns into a puzzled frown. ‘You… is this true, brother?’

‘Who did you think was stealing all the chains from the armoury?’ Loki is evidently enjoying this. ‘Your friend here has quite the dominant streak when he’s in the right mood. Need some help with that, precious? You're looking a little flustered.'

Indeed, Bruce appears to be having some difficulty zipping up his jeans. ‘Shut up.’

‘Why don’t you come over here and make me?’

Clint coughs. ‘I’m starting to feel like a seventh wheel over here. You guys need some time alone?’

With a sigh, Thor leans over and gags Loki. ‘The less he speaks, the better.’

Loki just raises his eyebrows and winks suggestively at Bruce.

‘Always the quiet ones,’ Tony muses.

Bruce shakes his head in defeat, takes a final (lingering) look at Loki, and stalks off in search of a cold shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also gonna point out that in Thor: Ragnarok, when Bruce saw Loki bound in chains, his first reaction was to stare and... readjust his trousers. The defence rests, your honour.


	18. Omelet (Bruce/Clint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17: Cooking
> 
> Bruce has some questionable food cravings post-Hulkout. Unfortunately, Clint can’t cook to save his life.

Bruce gets a little weird after a transformation. He’s good at hiding it from the others – for years Clint thought nothing of his "early night" excuses - but now they live together.

And it turns out that post-Hulk Bruce is a fucking gremlin.

Clint steps out of the shower to find him spreading toothpaste onto his toast. ‘Babe, don’t eat that.’

‘I had a craving,’ he says defensively, not looking up. ‘Don’t worry, I’m immune to fluoride poisoning.’

Clint snorts. ‘Yeah, _that’s_ the part I’m worried about.’ He grabs a tub of mint ice cream from the freezer. ‘Trade ya.’

Bruce’s face lights up. ‘You’re a genius.’

As well as the food cravings, Bruce has mood swings worse than a teenager. One minute he’s laughing hysterically at a picture of a duck, the next he’s sobbing into a pillow because he broke a plate. All Clint can do is hold him close until he passes out for the night. Bruce is always back to normal in the morning, though he remembers little of their weird evenings. To see him so vulnerable and open is a little scary, but at least he doesn’t have to go it alone anymore.

Clint is used to eating garbage - he grew up in a circus, for god’s sake - but Bruce’s post-Hulk cravings are on another level. He drinks mugs of cold chicken noodle soup, puts pepper on dry cereal and crunches down apple pieces smothered in mustard.

It’s on these days particularly that Clint wishes he could cook. On missions, he’s lucky to wolf down the odd protein bar. Lengthy food prep is plain impractical so he’s never learnt how.

When he’d moved into Bruce’s floor, he’d assumed the man would be an amazing cook. Not that Clint had expected to be waited on or anything, but he’d known his boyfriend was good with his hands.

‘You’re joking, right?’ Bruce had laughed as they dug into bowls of takeout noodles.

‘Well, you’ve been all over the world! I thought you’d be the fancy food type.’

‘I’ll eat anything, fancy or otherwise. That doesn’t mean I can _make_ it.’

Now he’s watching Bruce demolish freezer-burned fish fingers with custard and wondering if he should hold an intervention. They can’t keep living on frozen and dried crap. Someone needs to look after Bruce, since clearly he isn’t doing it himself.

There’s a call to assemble, and literally everything goes wrong. They get two false alarms that the fighting is over, so Bruce has to Hulk out three times in as many hours. Clint winds up with a black eye and a bruised back.

Tonight, Bruce isn’t hungry. He doesn’t get mood swings, either. Instead, he has hallucinations.

Clint spends the night cuddling his boyfriend as Bruce trembles, pointing at invisible spiders on the walls and talking to a woman sitting at the end of the bed. It’s unnerving, but Clint stays awake until Bruce can’t any longer, and holds him close for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Clint creeps into the kitchen and gets to work. He is an Avenger, an assassin, and one of the most skilled archers in the world. He can figure out how to make a goddamn omelet.

An hour later, Bruce shuffles into the kitchen. ‘Something’s burning.’

Clint holds a smoking pan over the sink, attacking his creation with a spatula. ‘Yeah. I uh, tried to cook something.’

‘You cooked?’ he echoes, as if Clint just declared he’s learning to fly.

The blackened mass is fused to the pan. The spatula doesn’t even dent it. ‘I said "tried".’ He glances up with an apologetic smile. ‘Did I wake you?’

Bruce shakes his head. He looks peaky but relaxed, and he pads over to nuzzle his shoulder like a friendly cat. ‘Why the sudden urge to cook?’

He sighs. ‘I don’t know, I just... I wanna take care of you.’ He dumps the pan in the sink so he can wrap him in a warm hug. ‘Not much nutritional value in ramen. Can’t be good for you after burning all those Hulk calories.’

Bruce hums contentedly. ‘Do I want to know what I ate last night?’

Clint’s heart sinks. ‘Nothing. You were pretty out of it. You hungry?’

‘Famished,’ he admits with a wry smile.

‘Okay, here’s the deal. I’m taking you out for breakfast. You name it, we get it. Then when we get back, we’re gonna find Steve. Because he’s the only one of us who can actually cook. We seriously need to learn how to feed ourselves.’

Bruce quirks an eyebrow. ‘We’re getting cooking lessons from Captain America?’

‘Yep.’ He leans back to kiss his forehead. ‘And I’m throwing out the mustard. It’s for your own good.’

Bruce laughs. ‘Deal.’


	19. Seen (Bruce/Heimdall)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 18: Myths
> 
> When the Avengers visit Asgard, Bruce befriends the wise and gentle guardian of the Bifrost, Heimdall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a rarepair! Heimdall needs more love.

Whilst most Asgardians are loud and sociable, one seems content to watch from the sidelines. Perhaps that's why Bruce is drawn to Heimdall, the stoic guardian of the Bifrost.

The Avengers were called to Asgard to provide testimony of Loki's crimes. Bruce wasn't at the wheel for most of the fighting, and people keep asking about the "mighty green warrior", so he sneaks out.

Asgard is beautiful, and he admires the golden architecture as he strolls along the rainbow bridge.

'Leaving already?' says Heimdall dryly.

Bruce shrugs. 'Wouldn't want to outstay my welcome.'

'Where do you want to go? I can send you back to India if that is your wish.'

Bruce stares at him. 'You know about that?'

'I see everything,' he says with a flash of amber eyes.

Bruce is almost tempted, but he opts to wait for the others instead. Heimdall doesn't speak again.

It turns into a monthly meeting: Avengers and Asgardians meeting to share knowledge. Sif and Natasha are fast friends, and Tony takes delight in sassing Odin with pop culture references.

Bruce always finds some time to say hi to Heimdall.

Thor explains that Heimdall actually does see everything, which means he must know everyone’s darkest secrets. No wonder he prefers to remain on the edge of Asgardian society.

Nevertheless, he starts to warm to Bruce. The frosty silences lessen, and he even smiles at a joke now and then. In a way they’re alike: burdened with powers neither of them asked for. Heimdall uses his to guard the Bifrost, and Bruce... is trying to make the best of Hulk.

Heimdall tells him stories. Bruce sits on the floor, gazing out at the sky, and lets his deep, gentle voice wash over him. Before he knows it, he's hanging out once a month with an ancient Norse myth.

Okay, he hangs out with Thor too, but this is different. One day Heimdall rests a lingering hand on Bruce’s shoulder as he says goodbye, a thumb just barely brushing the back of his neck.

Bruce can't stop smiling for the rest of the day. He knows Heimdall sees it too.

There's just something calming about his careful strength, his quiet intelligence. He hides so much of himself for fear of alienating others, and Bruce feels he's found a kindred soul... but never dares to act on his feelings.

Until Fandral corners him after a meeting and gives him a friendly thump on the arm. 'I'm glad you and Heimdall are courting. It's really mellowed out the old chap.'

'We're not - he isn't interested in-' Bruce stutters, but Fandral has already left.

Heart sinking, he heads for the Bifrost. But when he gets there, Heimdall is smiling. 'I never said I wasn't interested.'

Bruce blinks. 'Really? I didn't think you… did that sort of thing.'

'I don’t.' He steps closer. 'But then someone caught my eye.'

They smile at each other for a long moment. Bruce clears his throat. 'Do Asgardians drink coffee?'

'I have never tried it.' Heimdall's smile fades a little. 'And I cannot leave the Bifrost unguarded.'

The others will be back soon. Bruce really doesn't want to wait another week. 'Okay... if you see everything then you know where the nearest Starbucks is. Beam me back up in ten minutes?'

For the first time ever, Heimdall looks surprised. Then he nods. 'Very well.' He hesitates. 'I've always wanted to try a tuna melt...'

Bruce doesn't bother to hide his excitement as he moves to the middle of the room. 'See you soon, then.'

The golden walls of the Bifrost pulse with magic, a soft chiming filling his ears. Bruce laughs. Coffee with an Asgardian. Just a normal Thursday.

Heimdall's answering smile blurs and disappears in a haze of rainbow colours.


	20. Extra Puny (Bruce/Natasha)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 19: De-aging
> 
> Hulk gets hit with an energy weapon. He seems unaffected, but he's strangely reluctant to change back in front of Natasha...

Natasha has never seen Hulk look worried before.

As he steps towards her, he chews on his lower lip in an endearingly Bruce-like way. ‘Hulk stay.’

‘The fighting’s all done, big guy.’ She sits down on the ground, ignoring the flare of pain from her twisted ankle. ‘You won’t fit in the car.’

He sits down too, still towering over her. ‘Banner hurt,’ he says finally.

‘What do you mean?’ Hulk had been hit with a nasty-looking energy beam earlier, but he’d seemed to shake it off without a problem. ‘How can he be hurt?’

‘Hulk not keep Banner safe.’ He scowls at his feet. ‘Hulk job keep Banner safe.’

‘It’s okay. You did a great job.’ But Natasha's heart is pounding. She loves Bruce like she’s never loved anyone before. The thought that he might be trapped inside Hulk, hurting, scared… ‘But I need him back. Please.’ She holds out a hand. ‘I can’t help him if you don’t let him in.’

A full minute passes, during which Hulk eyes her distrustfully. Gone is his steady self-assurance; suddenly he’s fidgety and fretful. ‘Big light bad. Made puny Banner… extra puny.’

‘Wow, I didn’t even know that was possible,’ she teases, and is pleased when he offers her a half-smile. ‘I promise, we’ll have him un-punied in no time. But you’ve got to trust me on this one, okay? We’ll take care of him.’

Hulk wavers, but finally he nods and takes her hand. ‘Keep Banner safe,’ he orders.

She nods solemnly. ‘You got it.’

And then he’s shrinking in her arms. Natasha holds him steady. What did the beam do to him?

Bruce's weight lessens rapidly until he reaches normal size… and then keeps going. Natasha cries out, unsure what’s happening but wanting it to stop. Oh god, he’s going to shrink forever until there’s nothing left –

And then it stops. When she looks down, there’s a child in her arms.

He stares up at her from beneath a mop of brown curls, his eyes huge and dark. ‘Nat?’ he whispers.

Natasha laughs in disbelief. ‘Well, it could have been worse. God, you’re tiny…’

Bruce looks around in confusion. ‘I don’t remember… where’s Mom?’

Her heart breaks for him. ‘She had to go away for a little while, but she loves you very much.’ Carefully, she gathers him up and gets to her feet. ‘She told me to look after you for a bit, okay?’

He slumps against her in defeat. ‘Okay.’

Even through his hazy memory, he still knows who she is, and that gives her hope. ‘We’ll fix this,’ she promises, to herself as much as to him.

Her earpiece buzzes. _‘Romanov, do you copy?’_

‘Hey Steve.’ She kisses Bruce's curly head before limping back towards civilisation. ‘Quick question… do we have a child’s car seat anywhere?’


	21. Forgot (Bruce/Natasha)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20: Loss
> 
> Bruce often gets post-Hulk amnesia. But he’s never forgotten his name before...

Bruce often gets post-Hulk amnesia.

It's usually little things, and it always wears off in a few hours. Today doesn’t seem too bad; as he curls up on the Quinjet sick bunk, he remembers everything leading up to the fight.

'How are you feeling?' Natasha asks softly, hovering beside him.

'Uh, I've been better.' He offers her a smile, internally cringing at his dirt-smeared appearance. Nevertheless, his heart flutters as she runs a hand through his hair and pulls out bits of rubble.

The others bicker and banter as they buckle in and the Quinjet takes off. Bruce dozes, mentally checking himself over. He ate waffles for breakfast, his favourite colour is purple, he's a world-renowned physicist and part-time rage monster and his name is…

Wait.

Slowly, Bruce sits up. The others don't know about the memory loss, or at least not the extent of it. He doesn't want to worry everyone with stupid questions. Nevertheless, panic starts to set in.

Natasha glances over and maybe he's not so subtle. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

‘I um…’ At least he hasn’t forgotten the hopeless crush he’s harbouring. But now he’s twice as tongue-tied. ‘Just feeling a little sick.’

She frowns with concern, and then she’s back at his side. ‘Did you forget something?’ she asks, quiet enough that the others won’t hear.

It sounds too silly to say aloud, so he just stares back at her unhappily. What if it doesn’t wear off this time? What if it’s a name that doesn’t suit him, like Colin or Frederick?

Natasha takes his hand. ‘Bruce?’

Oh yeah, that’s his name. A relieved smile finds its way onto his face. Bruce Banner. Not a bad name at all.

He’s so pleased to have remembered his name that it takes him a moment to realise that Natasha's still holding his hand. When he frowns up at her, she just smiles and boops his nose. ‘Uh, am I missing something here?’ Because Natasha is looking at him with open affection in her eyes and she isn’t shying away.

Clint snickers. ‘How hard did you hit your head, Doc?’

Bruce looks down at their joined hands, then up at Natasha's face again. Then down at their hands. ‘Are we – are we _dating?’_

Natasha laughs softly. And then she strokes his cheek. ‘Bruce… we’ve been married for six months.’

Bits of memory float back to him: stargazing together on the roof of Stark tower, the quiet proposal in the aftermath of a battle, the wedding officiated by Nick Fury, the honeymoon in Russia…

Bruce opens his mouth, then closes it again. All he can say is, ‘Oh.’

The others stare at him in utter bemusement. ‘You sure you’re okay, Brucie?’ Tony asks.

‘I will be,’ Bruce assures him, smiling at Natasha.

Natasha smiles back.


	22. Green is the New Black (Bruce & Dylan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21: Family
> 
> Dylan Rhodes arrives to bail his twin brother Bruce out of jail. (Now You See Me crossover)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set before Now You See Me 1 so no spoilers here :)
> 
> My headcanon is that Bruce and Dylan were twins adopted into different families, so Dylan Banner became Dylan Rhodes. They reconnected some years later. Dylan is the older brother by two minutes, and reminds Bruce of this frequently.

They'd allowed him one phone call, so Bruce had called his brother.

Now he waited, perched on his cell bunk and twiddling his thumbs. At first he’d been grateful that New York facilities didn’t give out orange uniforms, but now he wondered if this dark green one was worse.

Dylan had promised he’d be there “soon”, but it had been nearly an hour. FBI work kept him busy, and Hulk had probably decimated a few roads in the last fight. But Bruce was starting to get nervous, and that never ended well.

When three men in khaki showed up, Bruce's heart sank.

'Doctor Banner? We need you to come with us.'

Hulk growled in his mind. 'Why?' he asked.

‘If you resist, we will be required to use force.'

Bruce chuckled darkly. 'That wouldn’t end well for you.' But if they tranquilised him before he could change...

'Hey! Who authorised you to come down here?' a voice called down the corridor.

Bruce smiled.

Moments later, a man with curly brown hair, stubble and a scowl marched into view. He was the spitting image of Bruce, and his suit and tie were ruffled as if he’d been running. ‘I asked you a question. Whose orders are you under? I want a name.'

The biggest of the three puffed up. 'We're under strict orders from General Ross to move him to a secure facility.'

'Why are we even holding him in the first place? Cowan?' He turned.

A balding agent with glasses stepped up behind him. ‘They brought him in under public indecency. Rhodes, you can’t just walk – '

'You know who he is, right? I assume you've watched the news at some point during the last six months? Hulk can’t exactly carry a spare pair of pants.' Dylan finally looked at Bruce. ‘They treat you okay here?’

Bruce shrugged. ‘I’ve stayed in worse motels.’

The soldiers were waiting. ‘With respect sir, I have orders – ‘

‘Yeah? And I have mine.’ Dylan glared at Cowan. ‘I’m taking my brother home. Now move.’

Cowan stepped away, with much grumbling about “lack of procedure”. Dylan unlocked the door and squeezed Bruce's shoulder. ‘Came as quick as I could,’ he murmured, his glare softening. The tough-guy agent thing was all an act, and one he was very good at. ‘Come on.’

Dylan set off briskly down the corridor and Bruce followed eagerly, throwing a final glance over his shoulder. 'Give the general my regards,' he called to the frustrated soldiers.

‘Put these on.’ Dylan grabbed a pile of clothes from a chair in the lobby. ‘I’m not walking you out of here like you’re a criminal. I’ll have Cowan’s ass for this…’

In the bathroom, Bruce quickly got changed. These were definitely his brother’s clothes; Dylan was broader and bulkier, so the shirt was a little big on him.

Outside, military vehicles surrounded the FBI headquarters. Dylan shooed off the trigger-happy paparazzi and took Bruce by the elbow, steering him towards the sports car parked nearby.

Tony rolled the window down. 'Nicely done.'

Bruce clambered in. It was a bit of a squeeze; Natasha, Steve, Thor and Clint were all here too, still in full battle gear. 'What are you all doing here?'

Natasha smiled. 'Oh, we were plan B in case things went sour.’

Clint leaned over to ruffle his hair. ‘Ross can suck it, you’re ours Doc.’

Dylan got in beside him and Tony drove them away. Bruce gave his brother a grateful smile. ‘Thanks. That could have gotten awkward.’

Dylan smiled back at him warmly. ‘Hey, I can’t help you fight aliens but I can keep you out of trouble. What else is family for?’

Bruce looked at his fellow Avengers, who had squished into the car ready to win him back if necessary. ‘Yeah,’ he said softly. ‘I’ve got a good family.’

Tony glanced in the mirror. ‘Hey Dylan, you ever tried shawarma?’

Dylan grinned. ‘I have a feeling I’m about to.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see the Avengers mistaking Dylan for Bruce I wrote a 5+1 fic [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23512948)


	23. Pawsome (Bruce/Hela)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 22: Pet Shop AU
> 
> After two months of working at Paws 'n' Claws, Bruce finally meets the store's legendary most difficult customer: Hela.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peers into the bottom of the Bruce/everyone shipping barrel* ooh, what have we here

Everyone at Paws ‘n’ Claws knew Hela. And if not, then they knew _of_ her.

New staff were warned about the store’s favourite and most difficult customer and how to deal with her. Hela’s demands were often very specific or unusual, but if fulfilled correctly, she usually spent a lot of money.

Bruce had only been working there for two months when she strode into the shop, accompanied by a dog as big as a wolf. 'It's Fenris' birthday,' she announced grandly. Her deep, powerful voice would have made her a great pantomime villain, along with the long black hair, dark eye makeup and black lipstick. 'New here, are you?'

Bruce nodded, suddenly tongue-tied. 'Yes. I'm Hela. I mean, you're Bruce. I mean - '

'You've heard of me, then.' She looked pleased. 'Then you'll know I take my dog's wellbeing very seriously.'

Fenris was tall enough to rest his head on the counter where he gazed up at Bruce, panting happily.

There was no one around to help him and Hela wasn't going anywhere, so he steeled himself and prepared to do battle. 'We'd better get started then. Do you have a list?'

She smiled slyly. 'I have two.'

The list was easy enough to follow. Hela clearly knew her stuff: she scrutinised ingredients labels on all the treats, and even held out decorations for Fenris to choose his favourite colour. Bruce didn't have to do much except explain what they had in stock.

Hela wasn't afraid to say something was bad. She was right: the display of cat beds made the aisle too narrow, and could pose a problem for wheelchairs and buggies.

If you wanted to judge a person's character, you need only see how they treat their pets. Hela clearly adored Fenris, and that was good enough for Bruce.

Once you got over her directness, Hela was actually fun to talk to. She had a sense of humour as dry as his, and by the time he rung up her order they were trading dog stories (Bruce's adopted stray Ricky was always causing trouble).

'Thank you for your service. I shall ask for you again.' Hela looked him over approvingly. 'Fenris is having his birthday party on Saturday. He would like to meet Ricky.'

And then she winked.

Bruce fought to hide a smile. ‘I’m sure Ricky would be interested. You know where to find me.’

She nodded, smiled, then breezed out of the shop with Fenris at her heels. Bruce stared after her, wondering if he'd just dreamt the whole thing.

A moment later, Val hurried over. 'Was that Hela? Oh my god, tell me you didn't piss her off...'

'No, it was fine. She's not as bad as you implied. Once we got talking she was quite nice, if a little prickly.'

Val stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. 'Nice? _Hela?_ Are we talking about the same person here?' Then she narrowed her eyes. 'Wait, I know that look.'

‘I… may have been invited to Fenris’ birthday party.’

‘You’re going to Hela’s _house?_ Wow, better you than me.' She laughed at his blush. ‘You have to let me pick your outfit. You’re not going in that awful brown sweater I see you wearing all the time.’

Bruce smiled. ‘I think we have bigger problems. What the hell is _Ricky_ supposed to wear? He needs to make a good impression!’

Laughing, Val dragged him over to look at the bowties for dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has a type and it's women who could snap him in half I don't make the rules here


	24. Trash Panda (Bruce & Drax)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 23: Poison
> 
> When Rocket starts acting strangely, Drax brings him to the Avengers’ best doctor. Bruce is definitely not awake enough to deal with this shit.
> 
> TW: Tranquiliser syringe

Bruce is about to take a bite of his sandwich when Drax marches into the lab, wide-eyed, with blood trickling down his neck. ‘You are a healer?’ he asks urgently.

The sandwich hovers just an inch away from Bruce's mouth. ‘Um. Sort of. Why, what’s wrong?’ He doesn’t know the Guardians that well; Drax had only spoken to him once before. (“Hulk is magnificently good-looking,” he’d said, straight-faced. “You are so ugly in comparison. I can’t believe you share a body.”)

‘What happened to your neck?’

‘Only a small injury.’ There’s a sack hefted over his shoulder, and something is wriggling inside it. ‘It’s Rocket. He is gravely ill.’

And there goes all hope of a peaceful morning. Bruce sets his sandwich down and clears a space on the table. He’s not a qualified doctor, and he’s certainly no vet, but he’s good at improvising. ‘Can you get him on the table?’

Drax holds the bag up. ‘I can. But he may not stay there. He is very angry. When I tried to pick him up, he bit my left testicle really hard.’

Bruce blinks. ‘And you’re… okay?’

He snorts. ‘Of course. My testicles are as strong as Kylosian steel. His teeth barely left a mark. Would you like me to show you?’ His free hand hovers over the belt of his pants.

‘No! Thank you for the offer.’ Bruce puts on his glasses and takes the bag from him. It’s surprisingly heavy, and Rocket hisses and struggles inside. ‘Okay, tell me what happened.’

‘Well, we ate breakfast together as normal. Stark ordered an Earth delicacy – pizza, he called it.’ Drax’s eyes glaze over, remembering.

‘But then something happened?’ Bruce prompts, all too aware that he could be holding a bag of dead Rocket if Drax drones on for much longer. With his free hand, he opens a compartment under the table and pulls out a syringe full of tranquiliser (never know when you’ll need it at short notice).

‘Yes. Rocket went out to urinate in Stark’s favourite flowerbed. I went to find him and…’ He shudders. ‘He was running naked around the yard! He hissed at me, then when I tried to grab him he attacked me.’

Bruce hesitates. ‘Isn’t that a normal day for you guys?’ Most of Quill’s stories usually involve someone running around naked.

Drax frowns. ‘This is different. I think he must have eaten something toxic.’

Bruce carefully sets the bag down on the table and Rocket goes still. Raccoons are omnivores but it’s plausible that something in the pizza was poisonous to him, especially with his altered DNA. ‘I’m going to give him a shot, just to calm him down.’ He holds up the syringe. ‘Then we can work on specifics, okay? See if we can figure out exactly what he ate.’

Drax nods, looking relieved. ‘I _told_ Gamora you weren’t as stupid as you look.’

Bruce takes a deep breath. Then he opens the bag and several things happen in quick succession.

A raccoon leaps out of the bag and straight at Bruce's face. Bruce is startled and tries to administer the shot. The raccoon latches onto his arm and sinks its teeth into his shoulder.

Bruce stabs the syringe into his own thigh, trips over his own feet and crashes to the floor with the snarling raccoon still attached to him.

Drax stares down at them doubtfully. ‘He doesn’t look calmer to me.’

Bruce has just enough energy to yank the syringe out and toss it aside, but his thoughts are growing pleasantly hazy. This floor is really comfortable…

The raccoon hops nimbly away, hissing. It’s a scraggly little thing, with a chunk of ear missing and a bottle-brush tail. Bruce watches with growing detachment as it scratches its (probably flea-ridden) body. ‘Drax, I’m pretty sure this is just a normal raccoon.’

‘What is a raccoon? I do not understand – ‘

The lab door opens and Rocket steps in. ‘Hey Doc, you see a huge lump of brainless muscle run this way? I seem to have lost mine.’

‘Rocket! You aren’t dying!’ Drax turns away, paying Bruce no further mind. ‘I was so worried…’

‘What happened to you, big guy?’ Rocket pads over, sniffing the air curiously. ‘Why does it smell like wet dog in here?’

Behind him, the raccoon has made its way to the windowsill. Bruce struggles to focus on it. Maybe he’ll just take a little nap…

‘Hey. Hey, Banner? You in there?’ Rocket pokes his forehead. ‘Don’t walk towards the light, buddy.’

The raccoon is holding something. It’s white, and triangular, and it looks very familiar…

‘My sandwich,’ Bruce moans.

‘Great, he’s delirious. What did he inject himself with? Should we go get Stark?’

‘No, I believe this was part of his plan. He is clever, and took the drug to feign death so you wouldn’t attack him.’

‘Why would _I_ attack him? You’re making zero sense right now. Go get Stark. I don’t feel like meeting Hulk today.’

Bruce imagines what he must look like right now; spread-eagled on the lab floor with raccoon prints on his shirt, glasses at a crazy angle. He imagines Drax explaining the whole situation.

Tony is going to laugh until he pees himself.

When unconsciousness pulls at him, Bruce goes gladly. Once he wakes up, he’ll never hear the end of this.


	25. True Love's Kisse(s) (Bruce/Tony/Steve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 24: True Love's Kiss
> 
> Tony is cursed and only true love’s kiss can save him. One problem: he has _two_ boyfriends.

'I'm afraid there is no cure,' said Thor softly.

Bruce and Steve held hands tightly as they looked down at the bed. Tony looked so pale and still. Even the light of the arc reactor appeared to have dimmed a little.

'It is an old spell, and there is only one way to break it. That is with true love's kiss.'

Steve's heart sank. 'But we... there's three of us.' They didn't have an old-fashioned two-person relationship. 'Maybe one of us could work?'

Bruce squeezed his hand. 'It's worth a try. Anything we can do to get him back.' He looked strangely guilty as he knelt down beside the bed and Steve suddenly realised why.

If this worked, it would mean that Bruce was Tony's true love. And not Steve.

He told himself it didn't matter, that he only cared about getting Tony back. But he couldn't help the lurch of fear when Bruce pressed his lips softly against Tony's. And then waited.

Nothing happened. Tony remained as still as if he was carved from stone.

Bruce straightened up, looking hurt. He squeezed Steve's shoulder. 'Batter up,' he said with a weak smile.

Steve took his place by the bed. They'd always insisted this was an equal thing. Did Tony really love him more than Bruce? That wasn't really fair, but they could discuss all this later. Steve cupped Tony's cold cheek and kissed him. Then he leaned back, eyes fixed on Tony's face.

Nothing happened.

'I am sorry.' Thor's voice was remorseful. 'It should have worked. He always seemed so happy with you both.'

Seemed, past tense. Steve's eyes welled up with tears.

Bruce just stared at him. 'It's neither of us?' he said in disbelief. 'Maybe it's an ex, or he hasn’t met them yet...'

Tony had said he'd never been more sure about anything. He loved them both fiercely and had insisted he cared for them equally...

And then it hit him. 'Bruce, kneel down over there.' He indicated the opposite side of the bed.

Bruce frowned. 'Why?'

He smiled. 'It's not neither of us. It's _both_ of us.'

His eyes widened, and he took his place beside Tony. 'So... together?'

Steve nodded and reached for his hand across the bed. 'Together.'

Bruce's fingers interlinked through his, then they both leaned in to kiss the corners of Tony's mouth. It had always been the three of them. No one left out.

Tony stirred.

Steve drew back. 'Thor, it worked!'

Tony’s eyelids flickered, his lips parted - and his arms reached up to pull them both close in a hug. 'If anyone asks,' he said hoarsely, ‘We fixed this curse with science and blowing stuff up.'

Bruce chuckled. 'Oh no, I'm telling everyone, Snow White - Snow Stark.' He turned his head to plant a kiss on Steve's lips. 'Lucky you, you have two Prince Charmings.'

Tony hummed in agreement, letting his eyes fall closed. 'I'm very lucky,' he agreed. 'Gonna need another kiss though, just to make sure.'

Steve and Bruce exchanged amused looks, then together they leaned in.


	26. Weakness (Bruce & Nebula)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 25: Drop
> 
> Nebula carries a semi-conscious Bruce back to base. Bruce tries to convince her that weakness isn’t always a bad thing.
> 
> TW: Throwing up and scars. The scars mentioned here are not self-harm scars, they are a reference to Bruce's dad experimenting on him as a child as per the 2003 Hulk’s canon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in an alternate timeline somewhere after Ultron where the Guardians join the Avengers. #canonwhatcanon

Nebula resented being on a team.

She resented being given orders, she resented the Avengers, and she _resented_ carrying the weak.

When Rogers had paired her with Hulk, she’d secretly been delighted. Finally, a partner who could rival her in battle. Together they had decimated the swarm of robots, and when they were done she had returned his victorious snarl with one of her own.

And then Hulk had collapsed to the ground, shaking and shrinking until there was only a half-naked human body lying in the dirt. She’d seriously considered leaving him there.

 _‘How’s Brucie doing?’_ Stark asked. _‘You guys good?’_

‘He’ll live,’ she grunted, gathering him roughly into her arms. Bruce jerked awake and mumbled something incoherent, but he didn’t struggle as she carried him over the chunks of broken robot. What use was a warrior if he couldn’t defend himself?

‘This a rescue or a kidnapping?’ he slurred, hooking an arm around her neck to steady himself.

‘Depends how much you piss me off.’ They were in the middle of nowhere; it would be a long walk back to the tower.

Bruce dozed for a while, and she was disgusted by his weakness. In this state, she could snap his neck without any effort. He’d never survive on his own.

A moan was her only warning before Bruce leaned away from her and threw up, vomit spattering on the dry ground. She watched his stomach muscles spasm, noticing that his torso was littered with scars. They looked like knife wounds: straight and precise, almost surgical. She was instantly reminded of Thanos, who had cut out the parts of her that weren’t good enough.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. ‘You’re not exactly seeing me at my best. It’s Nebula, isn’t it?’

She met his apologetic look with a cold stare. ‘I preferred you when you were green.’

He chuckled. ‘Not many people say that.’

‘Stop talking or I’ll drop you.’

With a sigh, he rested his sweaty forehead on her shoulder. ‘I read your file,’ he said, half-asleep already.

‘I didn’t read yours.’

‘I know what it’s like. To feel like you’re never good enough, like you’ve got something to prove.’

Nebula kept her eyes on the road ahead. ‘You know nothing about me.’

‘My dad was convinced I was weak.’ His voice sounded far away. ‘Wanted to prove him wrong.’

Something inside her loosened a little. ‘Good. Your determination made you stronger.’

‘No. It made me reckless. I’m just lucky that Hulk is on our side now.’ He pulled back to look at her, his eyes dark and wise. ‘It isn’t weak to help someone, or to ask for help. That’s how teams work.’

She grunted and looked away. Long minutes passed in silence until she finally glimpsed the tower in the distance, a symbol of home, of _team._ And she stopped walking.

‘Maybe you’re right,’ she whispered.

But Bruce was asleep again. Nebula shifted him carefully in her arms, then continued along the road back to Stark Tower.


	27. Snug (Bruce/Rhodey)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 26: Summer Vacation
> 
> On a camping trip, Rhodey and Bruce share a tent. But there's only one sleeping bag...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this technically also comes under "only one bed" which is day 31's prompt but I just love this trope idk

The camping trip was going well until Rhodey said, 'Shit, I forgot my sleeping bag.'

Bruce looked up, in the process of unrolling his own. Rhodey sat in the tent's entrance, muscular arms wrapped around his knees. 'You didn't leave it in the car?'

'No, I was going to get it then Tony and Pepper needed help with the bags. Damn it.'

It had been Bruce's idea to go camping. The four of them had driven to a stretch of woodland and spent the evening eating s’mores and sharing stories. Tony and Pepper had not-so-subtly retired to their tent an hour ago, leaving the two of them alone. Bruce had tried not to look too pleased by this. 'You can have mine. I'm used to sleeping without one.' He'd spent plenty of nights with nothing but a bag for a pillow.

Rhodey shrugs. 'I'm used to it too. It's fine.'

But Bruce couldn't bear the thought of Rhodey sleeping on the ground. 'I insist.'

He shrugged. 'So do I.'

'Don't be silly. My gamma blood keeps me warm anyway.'

'Doesn't protect you from a sore back, though. How about we arm wrestle for it?'

Bruce allowed himself a pointed glance at Rhodey's muscles. 'That's not a match I'd win.'

He smirked. 'Okay, rock-paper-scissors you for it.'

Bruce played rock. So did Rhodey.

Bruce played rock again. So did Rhodey.

'This is getting ridiculous,' Bruce muttered as they drew again. And again. Both of them refused to play anything other than rock, and after ten games they gave up.

'You stubborn bastard,' Rhodey laughed. 'I’ve always liked that about you. Fine. You know what? This is a stalemate.'

Bruce rolled his eyes. 'So neither of us use it?'

There was a glint in Rhodey's eye. 'No. We _both_ use it.'

A moment passed between them. Rhodey's eyebrows raised in challenge, daring Bruce to call his bluff. If it even was a bluff.

'You're joking,' Bruce said cautiously.

'It's gonna get cold, and I'm not staying up all night arguing.' He crawled over to the sleeping bag and unrolled it. 'Come on. It'll be cosy.'

This was such a bad idea. But Bruce's resolve was weakened after hours spent by the campfire in Rhodey's company.

So when Rhodey climbed into the sleeping bag, Bruce took off his shoes and got in beside him. The bag was quite roomy, so it still zipped up all the way.

In hindsight, it would have made more sense for two _platonic_ friends to sleep facing away from each other, back-to-back. But instead they ended up facing the same direction, with Bruce's back pressed against Rhodey's chest.

In the dark, Bruce felt himself blushing. 'Uh, is this okay?'

Rhodey cleared his throat. 'Yeah, this is fine.'

They lay awkwardly for a while, and the only sounds to be heard were their quiet breathing and the hooting of a distant owl.

Gradually, Bruce felt himself relaxing. It had been years since he'd fallen asleep next to someone, and the warm, reassuring presence at his back was remarkably calming.

Bruce had the Hulk, and he didn’t need protecting. But with Rhodey here, he felt… safe.

An arm wriggled free and draped loosely over his side, outside of the sleeping bag. 'This okay?' asked Rhodey, voice slurred with sleep. 'My arm's going numb in here.'

Bruce was almost asleep himself, so his only response was a happy sigh and to snuggle a little closer.

Rhodey chuckled. 'I'll take that as a yes.' His breath paused, as if he was about to say something. Instead, a hand gently patted Bruce's side. 'Night, Bruce.'

It would no doubt be awkward when they woke up tomorrow. But for now Bruce let himself drift off in Rhodey's arms, and dared to believe that this night together wouldn't be their last.


	28. Sleepwalker (Bruce/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 27: Dream
> 
> Tony is summoned to the lab to deal with a sleepwalking Bruce.

Tony’s alarm went off at 4am.

He groaned and rolled over. ‘JARVIS, I said wake me up “early”, not the asscrack of dawn – ’

_‘Apologies for interrupting your beauty sleep sir, but your presence is required urgently in the laboratory.’_

He sat up. ‘Why? What’s the problem?’

_‘It’s Doctor Banner. Perhaps it is best you see for yourself.’_

Still half-asleep, Tony got up and took the elevator. Bruce often worked late; an all-nighter was nothing new. Unhealthy perhaps, but who was he to judge? He only hoped Hulk wasn’t involved.

The lab lights were dimmed to half-brightness but everything appeared as it should be. Bruce stood at a workbench in the corner. ‘Morning,’ he said vaguely, not looking up.

‘I suppose technically it’s morning, yeah.’ Tony wandered over. Bruce was dressed in the Muppets pyjamas Clint had bought him last Christmas, with little Kermit faces on the pants. His hair was sleep-ruffled and his feet were bare. ‘Whatcha working on? JARVIS seemed pretty worried.’

Bottles of chemicals covered the table. Bruce was in the process of uncapping them all. ‘It’s to keep off the dragonflies,’ he said seriously. ‘Gonna put it all on everywhere and then the dragonflies won’t come.’

Tony stared at him. ‘Okay, you’re freaking me out a little. Bruce? Hey, look at me.’

Reluctantly, Bruce paused in his work and looked up. There was a glazed look in his eyes, almost as if he’d been drugged. ‘Can’t talk, m’busy,’ he slurred.

‘Holy shit, when was the last time you slept?’

JARVIS interjected. _‘Doctor Banner is currently asleep.’_

Bruce tapped the uncapped bottles in a random order. ‘That’s the secret code,’ he muttered.

‘He’s sleepwalking?’ said Tony in disbelief. ‘Does he do this a lot?’

_‘Approximately once a month. I can usually keep him contained, but tonight he fell asleep on the lab couch. I was concerned he might injure himself.’_

‘Yeah, that’s a lot of bottles. Hey Brucie, I have a better way of keeping the dragonflies off. Wanna see?’ He offered a hand. Bruce didn’t respond, but he let Tony take his hand and lead him back to the couch. ‘Lie down here a sec.’

Bruce curled up on the couch, looking small and peaceful and a tiny bit adorable. ‘I don’t remember… how I got here. Tony?’

‘You’re okay, Bruce.’ Tony ruffled his hair. ‘Get some sleep.’

‘Had this really weird dream.’ He looked scared in a way that Bruce never allowed others to see.

‘We’ll talk about it in the morning, okay? You’re safe here.’ Tony’s hand lingered in Bruce's hair, and he dared to stroke his temple with his thumb.

Bruce closed his eyes. ‘Stay with me?’

Tony hesitated.

 _‘Doctor Banner would be safer under supervision,’_ said JARVIS. _‘I will alert you if there is another incident.’_

‘Guess I’d better keep an eye on you, then. Budge up, Banner.’

He lay down next to Bruce. It was a bit of a squeeze until Bruce rested his head on Tony’s shoulder, breathing warm puffs of air across his neck. ‘Thanks for looking after me,’ he mumbled, already drifting off again.

‘Anytime, big guy.’ Tony slung an arm around his waist (purely to stop him from sleepwalking again, of course) and tried not to grin. Only Bruce would be nerdy enough to sleep-experiment… in Muppets pyjamas. ‘Tomorrow, we’re gonna have a talk about your throw-acid-on-dragonflies plan.’

But Bruce was already asleep, snoring gently. There would be some awkwardness in the morning when they woke up cuddling like this. But for now, Tony was content to hold his science bro close and keep him safe until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [GenuineSnoof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenuineSnoof/pseuds/GenuineSnoof) for the idea of Bruce's Muppets pyjamas, you commented it on one of my fics and the image stayed with me <3


	29. Scene (Bruce/Clint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 28: Fantasy
> 
> Clint has a weakness for married men. But when he goes home with the cute doctor from the bar, he learns that fantasy and reality are two very different things.
> 
> TW: Alcohol, "cheating" (happy ending!)

As soon as their eyes met across the bar, Clint knew exactly how this night was going to go.

He'd been nursing a beer after a (boring) mission when he spotted the curly-haired cutie. He looked like a professor. And Clint was a sucker for academics.

'Come here often, babe?' he asked with a wink.

The guy smirked. 'No. But maybe I should.'

They shared a long, lingering look that implied neither of them intended to wait around. 'I'm Bruce.'

'Well, Bruce.' Even his name tasted good. 'Can I get you a drink?'

He chuckled. 'Don't I get to know your name?'

'I'll tell you if you'll have a drink with me.'

They had many drinks together. Bruce was a physicist it turned out, and that shouldn't have been sexy but Clint couldn't look away from those dark brown eyes. Bruce was the type of guy you took home to your parents. A shame that Clint's intentions were far less honourable.

Outside the bar, Bruce backed him against a wall and kissed him hard. 'You wanna take this somewhere more private?'

It was a short walk to Bruce's place, but by the time they made it Clint's heart was hammering. If he'd been a little less tipsy, he might have registered the distinctly unBruce-like leather jacket and neon sneakers by the door, or the two empty mugs on the kitchen counter. But he just took Bruce's hand and whispered in his ear, 'Take me to bed.'

They stumbled through the dark and Clint pulled Bruce down on top of him. For several minutes there was only hands and mouths and panting breaths.

Then Bruce froze and raised his head, listening. ‘Wait.’

'What?' Clint sat up, chasing the lips now tantalisingly out of reach.

'Nothing,' Bruce said eventually. 'Thought I heard my husband. False alarm.'

Clint stared at him. 'You're married?'

'He's out tonight. Don't worry.' Bruce bent down to kiss Clint's neck, their hips grinding together. 'We shouldn't take too long, though.'

'Yeah. Okay.' Clint's hands wandered down Bruce's back until they cupped his ass. He'd always fantasised about getting fucked by a married man. This was literally his dream night. But fantasy and reality were two different things.

'Clint,' said Bruce gently, pulling back, 'are you sure about this?'

Clint wasn't exactly good at holding down relationships. Probably because everyone he loved left him in the end; to become attached was to risk heartbreak yet again. Maybe this was all he was good for: a quick fuck whilst someone’s husband was away, then forgotten by morning.

'Clint. Talk to me.' There was concern in Bruce's eyes now, and suddenly it was too much to bear.

Clint scrambled out from under him and leapt off the bed. 'I can't do this. I don't know, it's too real. I can't. I can't.' He flicked on the light and there was their room, just as they'd left it this morning.

'Okay, we're stopping. It's done.' Bruce stood up, clothes askew but utterly serious. 'Can I hug you?'

Clint nodded, barely able to speak through the lump in his throat. ‘I’m sorry, I froze, I couldn’t…’

Bruce hugged him tightly. 'It wasn't real. I would never cheat on you Clint. Never.'

Clint sighed, melting into his embrace. 'I thought it'd be fun.' Something to look forward to after his shitty surveillance job for SHIELD. Then he'd ruined it.

'Hey, it was an experiment. Now we know it's not your thing.' Bruce brushed the tears from his cheeks and gently kissed his forehead.

'Just... the thought of you being married...' It was a level of commitment they weren't ready for yet, but he wanted to get there. Trust was something they had to build up slowly. 'I don't want to lose you.'

'You won't.' Those lovely brown eyes seemed to stare into his soul. 'I promise.'

They hugged for a long moment, then Clint sighed. 'I think I'm done with roleplay for a while. Can we just go back to vanilla sex?'

Bruce smiled. 'Sure.'

Later that night, as they snuggled up together, Clint nudged his sleepy boyfriend. 'Hey, I never asked if _you've_ got any hidden kinks. Wanna spill?'

Bruce snorted, and despite the dark Clint suspected he was blushing. 'Um. Maybe.'

'Want me to wear a schoolgirl outfit? C'mon, tell me.'

'Well, I... I may have a thing for outdoor sex.'

‘Yeah?’ He grinned. 'Yeah? Maybe we should go camping next week, then.' He ruffled Bruce's hair. 'Pick a tree. I'll stroke your wood.'

He was still thinking of tree puns as they drifted off to sleep. Clint was good at playing a part, but with Bruce he preferred to just be himself.


	30. *Homework (Bruce/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 29: High School AU
> 
> Tony is sick of Bruce marking papers every evening. Luckily, he has another extracurricular activity in mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a teacher/teacher au! Hopefully that's close enough. I just wanted domestic smutty science (teacher) bros

Marking.

Bruce frowned down at the stack of papers occupying the kitchen table. He loved teaching, but marking was an endless pain. There always seemed to be more of it.

‘Busy, Doctor?’

Bruce looked up to see his husband stroll in, damp-haired and already in his pyjamas at 8pm. 'I'm always busy,' he sighed.

‘Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.’ Tony leaned over the table suggestively. ‘See, my grades have been slipping so I was thinking about some _extra credit._ Maybe you could give me an _ass_ -ignment.’

Bruce snorted. ‘A cup of tea would be good.’ He stared at the next paper without really reading it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony shift so that the soft lump in his pants now rested on the edge of the desk. ‘Tony,’ he said weakly, ‘I’ve got a ton of marking to do.’

‘So have I. There always is.' Tony leaned in to nibble his ear and then whisper, 'Why not do me instead?'

And dammit, now Bruce was getting hard. Despite himself, he tilted his head back to give Tony a better angle at his neck.

‘Okay fine, you win. I’ll let you work.’ Tony sprung up, smirking, and started backing towards the door.

Bruce bit back a protest. He really had to get this marking done, but… they hadn't spent much time together this week. And Tony looked soft and warm and… handsome. ‘I guess – ’

Tony stopped walking.

He cleared his throat, unable to fight a smile. ‘I guess your grades could use some help.’

‘Why Doctor, I never thought you’d stoop to breaking the rules.’ Tony gave him a scandalised look that was almost believable. He sauntered over, picked up a pen and tossed it under the table. ‘Oops, let me just… get that…’

It was the cheesiest thing in the world and Bruce was laughing as Tony ducked under the table and gently parted his thighs. 'You're a bad influence on me.'

‘If you want to keep on marking up there, don’t let me stop you,' Tony purred, before he opened Bruce's pants and helped himself to the contents.

Bruce gripped the edge of the table as smooth, wet heat enveloped him. ‘Shit, Tony…’

Tony hummed in approval and suddenly Bruce couldn't think of a single reason to mark another essay tonight. Papers scattered onto the floor as his hands scrabbled for purchase, and all too soon he was gasping and finishing in Tony’s talented mouth. He slumped back in his chair, breathless.

Moments later, Tony crawled out from under the table with the smuggest look he’d ever seen. He grinned as he studied Bruce: sated and sleepy, freed of tension he hadn't realised he had. ‘Someone looks like they had fun.’

Bruce stood up and pulled him in for a kiss. Then he backed Tony against the table and tugged at the waistband of his pyjama pants. ‘My turn,’ he murmured. Who knew homework could be fun?


	31. Morsel (Bruce & Goose)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 30: Joy
> 
> Goose befriends a lonely man and they travel the world together. But what happens when their hunters catch up with them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broose :)

He feeds her a sardine, and she falls in love with him.

Many strangers roam the alleyways here, and Goose is still full from eating the one who kicked her yesterday. But this one has kind eyes and so she eats, and presses her face against his leg in thanks.

He tickles her behind the ears. ‘You’re welcome.’

When he leaves, she follows.

He lets her, albeit reluctantly, and that night he shares some of his cold baked beans. ‘Sorry I don’t have much. You’re probably better off on your own,’ he says. But cats don’t understand these things, so she pretends not to either.

They venture across the world together. He takes her to snowy mountains and glassy lakes and desert towns, always offering her some of his food. In return, she curls up on his chest and purrs them both to sleep.

He’s hurting inside, she senses. There’s a deep sadness in his soul that she can’t fathom; humans are strange, fragile, changeable creatures. But she nuzzles his shaking hands and gazes into his dark eyes and tries to understand all the same. And when he holds her close and strokes her fur, she senses that sadness lessen just a little.

They’re being hunted, Goose knows. She catches their scent on the wind sometimes: metal and anger. And one day they catch up.

The bullet hits him in the chest.

He collapses, blood blossoming over his shirt. Goose stands on his belly and hisses, and when they try to shoot her too she launches at them. She kills the one who killed him, and then she kills the rest.

It's been a long time since she had such a good meal.

But when she looks back her friend is… different. He’s big and green and angry, and he beats his fists against the ground. She leaps up onto his shoulder and sniffs his hair. He still smells the same.

A giant hand pats her head. ‘Kitty,’ he rumbles.

They run for miles together, through thick wilderness under starry skies. Goose has never known home – Flerkans are known for their wandering nature – but perhaps this is close enough.

When he shrinks again, he curls up on the ground, shivering violently. He looks so sad and lost. It’s the only time she’s ever seen him cry.

Goose pads over and trills softly. He looks up in surprise and his face falls with relief. ‘I thought I lost you,’ he sniffs, gathering her into his arms and hiding his face in her fur.

She wants to tell him that he is safe now, and that she will eat anyone who tries to harm them. She wishes he knew just how much that offered sardine meant to her, all those months ago.

But she can’t. Instead, she licks the tears off his cheeks and wraps around his neck like a fluffy ginger scarf.

When he sleeps, she keeps watch. They are alike, she thinks. Muscle and tooth and tentacle, hidden away in small bodies.

Just a man and his cat. For now.


	32. Snowstorm (OT6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 31: Only One Bed!
> 
> After a battle, the Avengers are stranded in a snowstorm. The good news: there's a hotel nearby. The bad news: there's only one bed. But it's a very big bed, so maybe they can all squeeze in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The grand finale! Can be read as platonic or pre-poly so take your pick ;)

It starts with a call to assemble in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The snowstorm makes fighting difficult, but somehow they overcome the endless waves of robots and tentacle monsters. And then it's time to go home.

Except that the Quinjet was damaged on impact and SHIELD can't fly a repair crew out until tomorrow, so there's only one thing they can do...

'A hotel?' says Steve in disbelief. 'Why would they even build one out here?'

'Who gives a shit?' Clint pushes past him. 'Come on, I'm freezing my nuts off out here.'

They all traipse in. Tony's armour is dented and scratched and the helmet and right leg are missing. Natasha leans heavily on Steve, sporting a twisted ankle. Clint blinks drowsily in the light, rubbing the bump on his head. Bruce is barely conscious and shivering miserably in Thor's arms, swaddled in his cloak.

'We're gonna need a few rooms,' says Tony.

The woman at the desk is surprised to be faced with six battle-weary Avengers, but she takes it well. 'I'm sorry,' she says in halting English, 'We only have one room left.'

'Great. We'll take that one.' It's this or walk back to the Quinjet in the snowstorm.

It turns out to be the most expensive room in the hotel, and with good reason: it's huge. But it also leaves one big problem...

‘There’s only one bed,’ says Clint.

'We'll manage.' Steve helps Natasha hobble over and sit down on the edge of the large double bed. 'How's everyone doing?'

Everyone makes vague noises.

Thor speaks up. 'I fear Banner's condition is worsening.' Indeed, Bruce appears to have passed out, and there's a worrying bluish tinge to his lips.

Tony frowns. 'That doesn't look good. Put him down, let's take a look at him.'

As soon as Thor lowers him onto the bed, Bruce stirs. 'M'sorry, overslept,' he slurs.

Natasha rests a hand on his forehead. 'Looks like hypothermia. I don't think Hulk would let him come to serious harm, but I still don't like the look of this.'

Steve frowns in worry. 'What's the best course of action here?'

Tony finishes stepping out of the remains of his armour. 'Gotta warm him up slowly or his body will go into shock. Get that wet stuff off him.'

Bruce moans weakly as Steve peels the cloak off him, but otherwise does nothing. Natasha turns away to give them some privacy, and Steve and Tony carefully dry him off with towels. Clint finds a thin spare blanket in the closet and they wrap it loosely around him to at least give him some dignity.

'How is he?' Thor asks. By this point the others have stripped out of their wet outwear, though everyone still looks tired and unhappy.

'Looking better, but he's way too quiet,' says Tony. 'Someone go cuddle him. Thor, you look warmest, get in there.'

Thor stared at him. 'You jest at a time like this?'

'No, I'm serious. He needs to share body heat. Now-ish would be good.'

The others look on as Thor climbs in beside Bruce and pulls the duvet over them both. 'He really is very cold. Is there nothing else we can do?'

'Let me help.' Steve gets in on Bruce's other side. The bed is easily big enough for the three of them. Bruce looks tiny next to the two biggest Avengers. 'How's everyone else?'

Clint snorts. 'Why, you got room for more in there?'

Steve shrugs. 'Well, yeah. If anyone else is cold, this is the best way to warm up safely.'

Everyone looks at each other.

'I'm not sleeping on the floor,' Natasha announces. From her position sitting on the side of the bed, she swings her bad leg in and snuggles in beside Steve. 'Nice and warm in here. You boys coming?'

By this point it's already a bit of a squeeze. The bed is huge, but it was still only designed for two. Clint looks tempted but cautious.

'Dibs on Point Break, he looks warmest.' Tony hops in like they do this every night. ‘Get on in here, Hawk Brain. Snuggling’s good for concussion. Fact.’

Clint snorts, but after only a token moment of hesitation he gets in beside Natasha. It’s… a little cramped. There’s some awkward jostling for space, and Tony nearly leaps off the bed when Thor’s cold feet brush against his leg, but eventually they settle down. Once everyone warms up, the overall mood brightens considerably.

‘Who would have guessed co-sleeping was good for team morale,’ Steve muses.

No one disagrees with him. Perhaps it should feel weird to be this close. But fighting together builds deep bonds, and they’d learned a long time ago that “normal” is relative.

A while later, Bruce stirs. He raises his head off Thor’s shoulder and blinks around in confusion. ‘S’goin on?’

‘You were very cold, Bruce,’ says Steve. ‘We were worried about you.’

‘We were _all_ cold,’ Natasha admits.

Everyone tenses a little, waiting for Bruce to break the spell, to point out that this whole thing is a little too _cosy_ for six friends. But he only rests his head back on Thor’s shoulder and yawns. ‘Should do this more often,’ he mumbles.

And although no one says it, they all silently agree. Tony curls up behind Thor, Natasha snuggles a little closer to Clint, and Bruce dozes off between Thor and Steve. Whilst the storm throws snow and wind against the window, the Avengers sleep peacefully, safe and warm and calm.

No one ever says it outright. But if, in future, Tony builds a bed big enough for six people and puts it in a “guest bedroom” in the tower… well, it’s only sensible to make use of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following along on probably the most self-indulgent fic challenge I've done :D and thank you so much to everyone who read and commented, I don't always have the social battery to reply to them all but they are all seen and appreciated <3
> 
> (If you liked this one I wrote a longer Bruce/everyone HC fic [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24072700))


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